Picking Up the Pieces
by NettieC
Summary: Life changes for Olivia when a tragic accident affects those she loves most...can she get them through?
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Notes: Nothing belongs to me …how sad!**

**This story has been written in its entirety and should be posted on a regular basis over then next few weeks. Some chapters are twice as long as others but they were the natural breaks in the story.**

_**A big thank you to Sam for all her encouragement!**_

_**This chapter's for Lu78 and PaceyW'sgirl for their ongoing support of my work.**_

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It was Thursday evening in early fall, Olivia stepped out of her lavender infused bath feeling more relaxed and calm than she had all day. Wrapping a soft, white cotton towel around her head, she dried off before slipping into the red, white and blue Wonder Woman pj's she'd received from Casey on her last birthday.

Yawning, she pulled back the covers on her bed, determined to have an early night. Olivia placed a glass of milk and plate of cookies of the bedside table before picking up the latest novel she was reading. She flicked off the overhead room light and padded back to the bed.

It took her three minutes before she was able to fluff and plump the pillows and get them into exactly the right spot. Once she had, she reclined into the pillows, a blissful smile creeping across her face. Quickly she opened her book to page 63 and placed the bookmark Lizzie had made for her, on her chest. She was two words in when the phone rang.

Grumbling she answered it.

"Liv, it's Don," her boss' voice came down the line.

"Hi Don, what's up?" Olivia asked, hoping there was no case needing her attention and put all her relaxation efforts to waste.

"You haven't heard from El or Fin by any chance have you?" he asked.

"No why?" Olivia tossed her book onto the bed and started pulling back the covers. She knew this call wasn't going to end well.

"Um, something's happened and I can't get a hold of them," Don replied.

"There supposed to be on stakeout with the 12th. What's happened?" Olivia asked quickly.

"Yeah, but I just can't raise them," he said, avoiding her question. "I'll ring the Lieutenant at the 12th and see where their crew is at."

"Don, what happened?" Olivia asked again. She could hear his indecision down the line. "Don?"

"Look Liv, I'd rather speak to Elliot first but…oh god!" He took a deep breath. "Liv, there was an accident tonight on the Triborough Bridge," Don said.

"Yeah, heard that on the news on my way home, car versus truck, fatality right?" Olivia replied.

"Yeah, well, ah, it was Elliot's car." Don paused and Olivia thought she'd stopped breathing.

"Was he um…driving?" she asked quietly.

"Oh no, no Liv, sorry, I shouldn't have let you think it was him. It was Kathy and the twins," Don said.

"Oh god, no…the fatality?" she asked, praying it wasn't one of the twins.

"It was…um…Kathy, um, she died on impact," Don reported, his voice strained.

"How are the kids?" Olivia asked, tears streaming freely down her face.

"They're okay – not too sure of the details though. They're in the ER at Mercy," Don said. "The responding car ran the plates and it was registered to El, that's why they rang me but I just can't get hold of him."

"You keep trying Don and I'll go to the hospital, someone should be with the kids."

Olivia ran into the ER and straight to the nurses' station.

"Sylvia," she called to the nurse. "El's kids, where are they?"

"Olivia, god, I'm glad to see someone's here for them. They've been calling from their mom and dad. Where's Elliot?" Sylvia asked, walking her to the trauma room at the end of the corridor.

"Don's still trying to get him. Do they know about Kathy?" Olivia asked.

"Not sure. Dickie has a broken arm and has been conscious throughout so he may know but Lizzie suffered some minor chest and facial injuries, she also had a blow to the head and was unconscious for a bit, so I don't think she does." Sylvia pushed the door open and Olivia caught her breath.

Lizzie and Dickie lay on trolleys side by side, their hands spanning the gap between them, laced together. Asleep, the eleven year olds didn't hear them enter. Olivia stood and stared at them, she had been desperate to get here and see them and now she had she really wasn't sure what to do next.

"It's okay, Olivia, you can go to them," Sylvia prompted before slipping out of the room.

Olivia moved towards the beds and looked from one to the other. She bent down and kissed Lizzie's head before doing the same to Dickie.

"Aunt…Liv," he mumbled, his eyes focussing on the face before him.

"Hey kiddo, I'm right here," she whispered, kissing him again. "How are you doing?"

"My arm's broken," he said matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, I know," she said, running her fingers through his dark hair.

"Lizzie hurt her chest and her head," he reported. "She's been asleep a lot, even in the car." A tear escaped down his cheek.

"Do you want to talk about the car, Dickie," she asked quietly.

He shook his head. "Where's dad? he asked.

"He's out on a job with Fin, Uncle Don's trying to get him now," Olivia replied quietly. "He shouldn't be too long."

Dickie nodded and Olivia was well aware he hadn't mentioned his mother.

"Do you need something, kiddo?" she asked, tousling his hair again.

He shook his head and with Olivia's tender fingers caressing his head, fell asleep.

Hearing a whimper, she turned to find Lizzie stirring.

"Mom…my," the little girl whimpered and it broke Olivia's heart. True, she'd never liked Kathy but she would have never wished this upon her – not and really meant it.

"Hey Libby," Olivia whispered, using the pet name only she was allowed to.

"Mommy," Lizzie cried again.

"Sshh Libby, it's okay," Olivia soothed, knowing she was lying. Lizzie's eyes finally opened and it took her a few minutes to realise it was Olivia with her.

"Auntie Livvy?" she asked quietly.

"Yeah Libby, it's me." The child smiled, she loved Olivia and had decided long ago she wanted to be just like her Auntie Livvy, she even asked to be called Libby so it matched, but only Olivia was allowed to do this – it was their special bond.

"What happened?" Lizzie asked her big blue eyes filled with tears and confusion.

"There was an accident, honey, and you hit your head," Olivia whispered, running her fingers along the bandage on the child's face. "The doctor says you're going to be as good as new."

Lizzie smiled, she went to speak again but it came out as a mumble, sleep overtaking her again.

Olivia watched both for a while longer before stepping back through the door and into the corridor to compose herself. She had let her tears rain unchecked but didn't want the kids to see her this way.

"Where the hell are you, El?" she muttered to herself as she wiped her own eyes.

"LIVVY!!!!"

She turned around to see Maureen and Kathleen running down the corridor towards her. She opened both her arms and caught them both, hugging them tightly to her.

She pulled back and brushed the faces of both girls.

"Are they…the twins…okay?" Maureen managed breathlessly.

"Yeah, honey, they are. They're in there." She gestured behind them. "They're sleeping at the moment. Dickie has a broken arm and Lizzie has some minor face and chest injuries and she has a big bump on the head. The doctor says they'll be fine though," Olivia reported, still hanging on to the girls.

"And is it true about mom?" Kathleen finally asked.

"Yeah, baby, it is." Olivia confirmed the news as gently as she could but it did nothing to diminish the impact.

Kathleen dropped to her knees, her sobs racking her body and her cries shattering Olivia's heart. She clasped her tightly and rocked gently. Maureen tried her best to comfort her sister but caught up in her own grief it was proving very hard. Olivia wrapped and arm around her waist and drew her to them. Maureen buried her head on Olivia's chest and rocked with her, trying to bring some comfort to them all.

Olivia looked up to find Don coming down the hallway.

"I still haven't got a hold of El, Liv, but I had to get the girls. They rang looking for him and I couldn't let them find out any other way," Don explained quietly, one hand on Kathleen's shoulder, the other around Maureen.

Olivia nodded, she wished Elliot had been there when the girls found out about their mother but at least they were with family.

"Can we see the twins?" Kathleen finally asked, getting off her knees and holding tightly to Olivia.

"Yeah, of course," Olivia answered, brushing Kathleen's hair back into place and drying her face.

"Do they….know?" Maureen asked quietly.

"I think Dickie does. He only asked for your dad and he was awake through the whole accident so he probably knows. Lizzie doesn't know though and she was crying for her mom when she woke up," Olivia said, drying Maureen's eyes as well.

Olivia pushed the door opened and waited for the girls to enter, she was going to let them have some time alone as a family but Maureen kept hold of her hand. "Please Auntie Livvy, come with us."

Olivia squeezed Maureen's hand, it had been a while since she had used the term Auntie with her, believing she was all grown up and it wasn't necessary. But on this tragic Thursday night in September, Maureen felt anything but grown up. She had lost her mommy and she needed the next best thing, her Auntie Livvy.

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_**A.N. If you get a chance, check out my SVU oneshot Early Morning Introspection.**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Notes: Nothing belongs to me …how sad!**

**This story has been written in its entirety and should be posted on a regular basis over then next few weeks. Some chapters are twice as long as others but they were the natural breaks in the story.**

_**A big thank you to Sam for all her encouragement!**_

_**Thank you for the wonderful response to chapter 1 it was amazing…**_

_**This chapter's for Sabrisvu!**_

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Don stepped back into the corridor to answer his cell and Olivia could tell Elliot had been located. Don gave him no information except he needed to attend Mercy General ASAP. As Olivia stepped into the room, she saw Don heading down to the nurses' station, the weight of the world on his shoulders.

Maureen sat beside Lizzie, while Kathleen sat with Dickie; it was Dickie who woke first. He sat up and launched himself into his sister's arms.

She tried to console him the best she could and eventually she pulled back.

"Hey buddy," she said, rubbing his back.

"Mom's dead," he replied formally.

"Yeah I know," Kathleen whispered before hugging him again.

"Lizzie doesn't though," he said sadly, looking across at his twin.

"Yeah, I know, we'll tell her when she wakes up," said Maureen, coming around and kissing his head.

"Can I tell her?" he asked, the girls looked at each other. "Please?"

"Look Dickie…" Kathleen began.

"Please?" he asked again. "It's just when we were in the car I told her I'd look after her and it would be alright. I just think it should be me who tells her it isn't." He stifled a sob. Olivia looked at him and couldn't help but smile; he was definitely his father's son.

Maureen scooped him up and carried him to his sister's bed. Gently she laid him beside his twin and they waited til she woke up. It didn't take long.

"Mommy," Lizzie whimpered before her eyes were fully open.

"Liz, it's okay," Dickie said, holding his twin's hand with his good one.

Lizzie saw all the sad faces around her bed and knew something was wrong. She searched the room for her mom and dad but couldn't see them.

"Lizzie," Dickie said gently. "You remember the car wreck?" She nodded briefly. "You remember the truck coming into our lane?" Lizzie nodded again. "It hit us."

Lizzie looked at the faces again. "Where's mommy?" she asked, her eyes settling back on her brother.

"Mommy didn't make it," he said bravely.

"Oh," Lizzie replied not quite comprehending the news immediately. It took a few moments to fully register. She leaned in to her brother.

"Do you mean she's dead?" she whispered. Dickie nodded and reached out to hug her.

Lizzie's heart wrenchingly loud sobs echoed through the room and down the corridor. It was this sound which greeted Elliot as he stood at the nurses' station – little did he know it was his baby girl breaking her heart crying over her dead mother.

----

"Don, what is it?" Elliot asked as Don came from the staff break room and gestured for him and Fin to come in.

Don put his hand on Elliot's shoulder. "Look son, there was an accident earlier tonight and…"

"Liv, is it Liv?" Elliot asked panic stricken.

"No, Elliot, Liv's fine. Kathy was driving the twins home from the mall…"

Both Don and Fin moved to grab Elliot as the coloured drained completely from his face. "The twins are okay, El," Don said quickly. "But Kathy died on impact. I'm so sorry, son."

"Kathy's dead," Elliot echoed, he shook his head, it wasn't possible.

"Yeah she is, El," Don repeated, his arm firmly hooked around Elliot's shoulders.

"Man, I'm so sorry, El," Fin offered, still holding onto his partner's arm.

"The twins, do they know? And the girls? God, where are the girls? I have to…" Elliot began, his head spinning.

Fin pulled out a chair and Elliot sat down before dropping his head into his hands.

"El, Maureen and Kathleen are here, they called the precinct looking for you and I went and picked them up and brought them here. I figured it was better for them to find out from me than a news bulletin. They're in with the twins and Liv. Dickie knows and, from that crying you can hear, my bet is they just told Lizzie," Don explained.

Elliot jumped from his chair and raced down the corridor to the source of the crying. At the door he took a few deep breaths, shook his head a few times, prayed to God for assistance and went in.

"Daddy!" his three eldest children cried in unison. Lizzie just looked at him. He ran over to the bed and gathered them all the best he could in an embrace. He kissed the tops of their heads and told each one he loved them over and over again.

"Dad...dy," Lizzie sobbed from the bed. He released the others and scooped up his youngest daughter and held her as tight as he could. He kissed her head and ran his fingers over her matted, blood encrusted hair.

"I'm here, baby girl, I'm right here," he whispered. He could feel the hands of his other children on him, desperate for his touch, his affection. He shifted Lizzie's weight and released one of his arms, using it to hug his son. Dickie, who had been trying to prove how strong and brave he was in front of his Auntie Liv and his sisters, threw his good arm around his father's neck and clung desperately to him, sobbing into his shoulder.

"Hey Dickie,it's okay son, it's okay darlin'," he said trying to soothe his only son.

He looked across and for the first time saw Olivia; she was standing alongside the bed, her arms tightly wrapped around his two eldest daughters, who were sitting on the bed. He couldn't make out what she was saying to them but they were both nodding and when she drew their faces up they were smiling despite their tears. It was only when she looked across at him he noticed just how tear stained her face was too and how unbelievably sad she looked, he considered it for a moment but the doctor came in interrupting everything and the moment passed.

Olivia ushered the girls out while the Elliot stayed in with the doctor and the twins, he needed to hear they were truly okay for himself. About ten minutes later they both exited the room, the twins were asleep, having been sedated and all being well would be allowed home the next afternoon.

"El, why don't you take the girls home, I'll stay with the twins," Olivia offered, taking his arm and leading him away from his eldest daughters.

"No Liv. Thanks but I don't want to leave them here …" Elliot began.

"They're going to sleep through the night, I'll call you the minute anything changes," she said but he shook his head. "El, Maureen and Kathleen need you more tonight than the twins, take them home, talk with them, be with them." She reached out and took his hands in hers. Slowly he nodded.

"But only if you're sure, Liv. I mean you've already done so much and …" his voice trailed.

"I'm sure – go." She gently pushed him back towards his daughters.

Elliot went back into the trauma room to kiss Dickie and Lizzie once more.

"Girls," Olivia said, hugging them both together. "Your dad's going to take you home, okay?"

"No!" they answered in unison.

"What about the twins?" Kathleen asked.

"I'm going to stay with them. They're sedated, they'll sleep through the night and you can be back before they wake up, okay?" Olivia said quietly but firmly. "Besides you both need to sleep and you need to take care of your dad too!"

The girls looked at her, never in their life had they seen a situation in which their dad needed looking after, he was always the one in control, the one they could rely on, it was a strange concept that he may actually need help, especially as it was his ex-wife they were talking about. Before they could utter a response, Elliot returned from the room.

"You girls right to go?" he asked, wiping his eyes.

"Can we just say goodbye?" Maureen asked.

"Sure, I'll be right here," Elliot said as Fin and Don walked towards him.

"Auntie Livvy, come with us?" Kathleen asked, pulling Olivia with her.

Olivia watched as Maureen and Kathleen kissed each twin in turn before coming back and hugging her. In turn she kissed both their heads and held them tightly to her.

"Auntie Livvy," Kathleen said quietly. "Daddy didn't love mommy anymore, why would he need looking after?" Olivia briefly closed her eyes, Kathleen reverting back to mommy and daddy tore at her heart.

"Because, baby, the four people he loves most in the world are in this room and they are going to go through a whole world of hurt and that's going to break his heart," she whispered, before kissing Kathleen's forehead.

"Oh," Kathleen replied before heading to the door.

Maureen moved to Olivia and wrapped her arms around her tightly.

"You'll look after them won't you Auntie Livvy?" Maureen asked, resting her head on Olivia's shoulder.

"I sure will, honey," Olivia replied, kissing her head.

"I love you, Liv," Maureen said hugging Olivia tightly.

"I Love you too, Mo," Olivia whispered, her tears escaping on their own.

Maureen walked to the door but then turned back.

"Auntie Livvy, you were wrong before…with what you said about daddy," she said quietly.

"I was?" Olivia said. "What was I wrong about, honey?"

"You said the four people daddy loved most in the world were in here," she said, moving towards Olivia.

"That's right, you, your two sisters and brother. He loves you all so very much," she explained.

"Yeah I know that…but it should have been the five people…daddy loves you too." She kissed Olivia's cheek and headed back out to join her father and sister.

Olivia settled into the chair between the two beds and looked at the peaceful, sleeping faces of Elliot's twins. She thought of how angelic they looked and then the reality hit her; they had come so close to becoming angels in their own right today. She drew her knees up under her chin, wrapped her arms around them and dropped her head, sobbing into the quietness of the room.

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_**Please note: I have only seen Kathleen in an ep, and I don't recall seeing the other three so if there are some descrepencies, just go with the flow.  
**_


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Notes: Nothing belongs to me …how sad!**

**This story has been written in its entirety and should be posted on a regular basis over then next few weeks. Some chapters are twice as long as others but they were the natural breaks in the story.**

_**A big thank you to Sam for all her encouragement!**_

_**Thank you for the wonderful response it continues to amaze me…**_

_**This chapter's for Blissful Curses...with love and thanks!  
**_

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Next Afternoon

Getting the twins discharged and their follow up appointments scheduled were the easy things for Elliot to contend with. Getting Lizzie into his car when she realised he would be taking her home was an entirely different matter.

"No!" she screamed, drawing stares from people passing by. "Don't make me!"

"Lizzie, honey," Elliot soothed, "we need to go home. That's where all your things are."

"No! I don't want to go!" she yelled at her father.

"Lizzie, it's okay," said Dickie from within the vehicle. "Come on in."

"No!" Elliot went to take her hand but she wrenched it free, hitting him in the face in the process.

"Lizzie!" He tried not to growl but he couldn't help it.

Maureen and Kathleen stood back watching not really sure how to deal with their little sister. Olivia did though. She walked over to them. Elliot stood up and moved aside as his youngest daughter threw herself into Olivia's open arms. Olivia picked her up and Lizzie wrapped her long legs around Olivia's waist. She walked away with her before sitting down on a nearby bench. Lizzie rested her head in the crook of Olivia's neck and sucked on her thumb, something she hadn't done in a long, long time.

Elliot watched from his car, knowing his partner was getting through to his daughter. Quietly Kathleen and Maureen climbed into the car, still watching their Auntie Liv with their youngest sibling.

Eventually Elliot walked over to the bench and sat down beside them. He opened his arms and hoped his daughter would come to him but instead she clung tighter to Olivia. Olivia reached over and took one of Elliot's hands in hers.

"El, Libby isn't quite sure about going home," Olivia said quietly while gently rocking the child still fastened to her. "Now, I've explained that she does need to go home and although things won't be the same without her mom there, it's still her home and she understands that."

Elliot nodded and reached out to stroke Lizzie's hair but she just glared at him.

"I've told her it's not going to be easy but she needs to remember she has so many people who love her and she'll be okay. Isn't that right, Libby?" Olivia kissed her head and the child nodded. Elliot reached over and wiped his thumb over the tears sitting on Olivia's cheek, she smiled at him "So, we've come up with a deal, if she goes home with you now, and lets me go home to shower, change and get some sleep, I'll come over with Burger King's for dinner about seven."

"Wendy's," Lizzie mumbled around her thumb.

"Oh right, sorry, Wendy's. Is that alright with you, El?" she asked, looking deeply into her partner's dark blue eyes. She didn't want to intrude more than she already had at this time.

"More than okay, Olivia," he said quietly, grateful he would only have to wait a few hours to see her again.

Olivia carried the child back across to the car. Maureen opened the door and Olivia leaned in and deposited the child into her seat.

"I love you Auntie Livvy," Lizzie whispered into Olivia's ear.

"I love you too, Libby, and I'll see you real soon." She kissed Lizzie's forehead, while Maureen reached over and secured the seatbelt for her. When all three backseat passengers were ready, Olivia stepped back and closed the door. She looked in at Kathleen sitting in the front seat and smiled at her.

She turned around and found herself face to face with Elliot. She hadn't had a chance to talk to him at all since this began, to offer him her condolences but now with four sets of eyes peering out from the car it didn't seem the place either. Instead she wrapped her arms around him and hugged him.

"Thank you so much, Livvy, for everything…," Elliot said quietly, squeezing her tightly.

She drew back and looked into his eyes. "You are more than welcome."

"I don't know how…" he began before she put her finger to his lips.

She tilted her head towards the car. "Now's not the time." She hugged him tightly again before kissing his cheek and opening his car door.

Once he had slid into his seat, put his seatbelt on and turned the key, she shut the door and waved them off. She stood and watched them drive down the road towards the place which they had always known as home but would never feel the same again.

Olivia opened the door to her apartment and the gentle fragrance of her lavender bath still wafted in the silent apartment. Throwing her things on the sofa she headed for the shower and stripped off as she waited for the water to heat. When ready, she cautiously stepped in and allowed the pulsating hot water to flow over her head and down her back, though she often found this soothing it wasn't working today. She washed quickly before stepping out and drying herself off.

Dressing again in the Wonder Woman pj's she had so rapidly discarded the day before, she caught sight of herself in the mirror. Tears clouded her chocolate eyes making her own reflection blurry; it would take more than a superhero to make it alright for the people she loved the most.

Slipping between the sheets, she pulled the quilt up around her, shuddering when she thought about the most precious children in her life and how they would cope without their mother. Then she thought of her own mother and how she wished their life together had been so very different, but how she missed her anyway. Quietly she began to sob into her pillow, she sobbed long and hard and somehow through the pain she fell asleep.

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	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Notes: Nothing belongs to me …how sad!**

_**Love you Sam – now and always!**_

_**This chapter's for MegMann and MrsLee!**_

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Hours later Olivia awoke and struggled to focus on the clock before her. When her eyes finally opened fully she realised it had just gone five and she pulled back the covers and climbed out of bed. She searched through her closet trying to find the right thing to wear. She didn't want to wear black, it was too sombre for the kids, she didn't want to wear bright colours, it was no celebration, so she settled on blue jeans and an NYPD tee. She threw some sweats and toiletries into an overnight bag, not really knowing if she'd be returning to her own bed that night.

She headed out and drove to the Wendy's Restaurant closest to Elliot's. After being initially indecisive about what to get and how much to get she went all out and paid a fortune for the five bags of food she was given. Still, she reminded herself, it was for a good cause.

Before long she pulled up into the Stablers' driveway and counted four additional cars. She was immediately thankful she'd over-bought. Leaving her overnight bag in the car, she picked up the Wendy's bags. Using her elbow to press the doorbell, she juggled the bags until Maureen opened the door and grabbed two from her.

"Auntie Livvy, come on in," Maureen said, kissing her aunt as she passed by. "Everyone's in the sitting room."

"Oh okay," said Olivia, a little unsure as to whether she should be here with the extended family.

They walked through into the kitchen first and deposited the bags on the counter.

"How much did you buy?" Kathleen asked coming into the room.

"A lot," Olivia replied. "I didn't quite know what people wanted to eat."

Lizzie came in behind Kathleen and ran to Olivia, wrapping her arms around her waist. She leaned down and kissed her head.

"How you doing, Libby?" she whispered.

"Better now you're here," she whispered back.

"Told you I would be. Now, let me get you something to eat." Olivia went to open the bags but realised Lizzie had yet to extract herself from her waist. She put one hand behind the girl's head to support her and began emptying the bags.

"Mmmm, something smells good," said Elliot, coming in with his son. "Hey Liv."

"Hi El, hey Dickie," she said, pulling out bags of fries.

"Did you buy out the store?" Elliot asked as he grabbed the napkins and put them on the table.

"Yeah, I think I did." Olivia smiled. "Who else is here?" she asked, gesturing to the sitting room.

"My mom and some assorted family members," Elliot said quietly.

"Do they want to eat? I'm sure there's enough," Olivia offered.

"Nuh, they've already eaten. We've had more food in here this afternoon than I think we've ever had," Elliot said, moving to Olivia and standing very close to her, stroking his daughter's head.

"Well, that's alright, the kids don't have to eat these," she said, starting to put the burgers back into the bags. Elliot's hand on hers stopped her.

"The kids haven't eaten – they wouldn't eat anything without you," Elliot whispered. Olivia smiled.

Dinner eaten, three hours of stilted conversation with people Olivia really didn't know and she was ready to go home. Lizzie and Dickie had gone to bed two hours earlier but when Elliot looked up his youngest daughter was standing in the doorway, her cheeks wet and eyes red.

"Hey, baby girl," he said, opening his arms up. "Come on in."

Lizzie padded her way into the room and shyly looked around at the adults who were watching her. She looked at her dad before climbing onto Olivia's lap and resting her tired head on her shoulder.

Olivia reached up and stroked her hair.

"Hey Libby," she whispered. "Why are you awake?"

"Bad dream," came the muffled reply.

"Want me to take you back up?" Olivia offered and Lizzie nodded.

They stood up and Lizzie hugged her father before climbing back into Olivia's arms and allowing herself to be carried back to her bed.

Gently Olivia deposited the child back in her own queen-sized bed and pulled the covers up around her. She looked down at Lizzie and saw the distress etched on the little girl's face.

"Want me to stay a while?" Olivia offered and Lizzie's face lit up.

Olivia toed off her shoes and slipped into the bed beside her. Lizzie snuggled into Olivia and with a few soothing whispers and gentle stroking of her hair Lizzie soon drifted back off to sleep.

Olivia lay there for a while longer wanting to ensure her companion was well and truly asleep before getting out. She dozed off for a while and stirred when the door pushed open.

"Lizzie," whispered Dickie.

"She's asleep, kiddo, why aren't you?" Olivia asked watching the boy come into the room. Dickie shrugged his shoulders. "Do you want to come in with us?" she asked.

Initially, Dickie shook his head but soon changed his mind when Olivia pulled back the covers. He climbed in and carefully lay behind his sister.

"You won't tell anyone I wanted to sleep with you guys, will you Auntie Liv?" he asked quietly.

"Course not, kiddo." She reached over and tousled the boy's hair. "You go to sleep, your secret's safe with me." He snuggled under the quilt and soon drifted off. Olivia lay there listening to the sounds around the house. She could hear the visitors departing and the older girls getting ready for bed. She could hear someone in the kitchen and assumed it was Elliot cleaning up.

Thinking she'd help him she eased back the covers but Lizzie responded by wrapping her arm around Olivia and holding on tightly.

Olivia pulled the covers back up, slunk down in the bed and decided cleaning could wait until morning. She'd just drifted off again when she heard the door open again.

"Liv?" Elliot called softly.

"Hmmm," she replied.

"Everything alright in here?" he asked, coming to the bed and sitting by her side.

"Yeah, she's asleep," Olivia yawned.

"Do you want to come down and have a drink or something to eat?" Elliot offered.

"Nah, I tried to get up but this one's stuck firm." She pulled back the covers to reveal his daughter sleeping soundly, her head on Olivia's breast and her arm wrapped around her waist. Elliot smiled. "And that one's just gone to sleep." She reached over and pulled the covers down to reveal his son.

"Wow! Didn't realise you were taking lodgers," Elliot said, gently tousling his son's head.

"You don't mind do you?" she asked quietly.

"No of course not, Livvy," he said before pausing. "Have I thanked you yet for everything you did yesterday and this morning?"

"Yeah but you don't need to thank me, El, honestly. I'd do anything for them. I love these guys." She smiled as he picked up her hand in his two.

"I know you do," he whispered.

"El, I am really sorry about Kathy. How are you doing with all this?" she asked quietly.

He shrugged his shoulders but kept hold of her hand. "Livvy, I have no idea how to handle this. How do I get them through this?" he whispered, tears glistening in his eyes.

"You love them, hold them, listen to them and love them some more," she whispered in response. She reached up and wiped the tears from his face. "Why don't you slip in next to Dickie and spend the night with us?"

Elliot considered the offer, he'd had worse ones. He thought about the propriety of it and what his eldest girls would think. But as he looked down at his youngest two his mind was made up, these were the two who would need him the most and he may as well start right now.

"I'll be back in a few minutes," he said, leaving to change into sweats. True to his word he returned soon after and slid into the bed behind Dickie.

"Night Liv," he whispered into the darkness.

"Night El."

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	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Notes: Nothing belongs to me …how sad!**

_**Love you Sam – now and always!**_

_**This chapter's for Olivia-Jordan!**_

_**----------------------------------------------------xoxoxoxoxoxonettiexoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo----------------------------------------------------- **_

Lizzie's room glowed in the early morning light as Olivia opened her eyes and gently shifted herself in the crowded bed. Lizzie moved and repositioned herself completely on top of Olivia, her thumb still in her mouth and her limbs dangling over her favourite aunt. Olivia kissed the child's head and as she turned her head on the pillow she spied Maureen sitting on the floor beside the bed.

"Mo, honey, what are you doing down there?" Olivia whispered.

"I …um, I wanted to be with you guys but I didn't want to wake you," she whispered back.

"There's room in here, honey, come on in," Olivia said, easing herself to the centre of the bed being careful not to knock into Dickie's broken arm.

"It's okay, it's crowded," Maureen said, but Olivia reached for her hand.

Maureen slid in and snuggled as close to Olivia and Lizzie as she could get. Olivia stretched out and put an arm around her, knowing she was close to the edge of the bed.

"Livvy," Maureen whispered. "Promise me something?"

"What's that, Mo?" Olivia replied.

"You'll always be here for us," she said.

"Always, honey, always."

Olivia felt a hand come from the other side of the bed and run down her arm until it found her hand. It entwined her fingers and squeezed it briefly. It was Elliot.

When the phone rang an hour later, Olivia stirred and was surprised to see Elliot had gone but his place had been taken by Kathleen. She heard Elliot coming back up the stairs before rapping on the door.

"Breakfast in ten minutes guys," he called, waking his children. There was an assortment of moans and groans as they awoke fully and stretched in the crowded bed.

"Did I squash you Auntie Livvy?" asked Lizzie, sliding down from Olivia and back onto the bed.

"No, Libby, you didn't," Olivia said smoothing down the child's hair.

"Good," she mumbled. "Where's daddy?"

"Daddy's cooking breakfast," said Kathleen. "Smells like pancakes."

"Smells like he's burning them," muttered Dickie, sitting up in the bed.

"Nothing unusual there then," said Maureen, swinging her feet out from under the covers. They all laughed.

"Auntie Livvy," Kathleen said quietly, "are you going to stay with us?"

"I'm going to stay for breakfast and…" Olivia began before Lizzie interrupted.

"Please stay, please stay," she begged.

"Libby, baby, I will be here for you for as long as you need me but you have to remember I have my own bed to go home too," Olivia said. She would stay her with them forever if that was possible but she knew she couldn't – it wasn't fair on them or Elliot and she didn't want to impose herself on this family in their time of crisis.

"Breakfast!" Elliot yelled up the stairs.

"But Livvy…" Maureen began.

"Guys…even if I'm not right here I'm only a phone call away, you know that? You've all got my number; you know where I live, yeah?" Olivia got out of the bed and ran her fingers through her messed hair.

Elliot pushed the bedroom door open and each Stabler got out of bed and hugged Olivia tightly before heading downstairs. Maureen was the last one and held on a little longer than the others, she let go and hugged her father before following her siblings. Olivia went to follow but Elliot caught hold of her, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her to him.

He could think of nothing to say, nothing to express whatever the emotions coursing through him were so he just held her tighter and she reciprocated.

"Dad! Auntie Liv!" Dickie yelled up the stairs, "breakfast!"

The days which followed were a blur for everyone. Elliot spent his time at home with the kids and a steady stream of family, friends and colleagues calling to pay their respects. He had taken indefinite leave and whilst Olivia had spent a great deal of time with them on the weekend, she returned to work on Monday morning trying to prepare herself for a working life without Elliot.

Sitting at her desk, she was wading through a pile of paperwork when Don called her into his office mid-afternoon.

"What's up, Don?" Olivia said taking the seat in front of his desk.

"How are things with the Stablers?" he asked, reclining in his chair.

"I think the phrase is 'as good as can be expected' is apt," she said with a wry smile.

"Anything we can do to help with the funeral on Wednesday?" Don asked.

"No, I don't think so. Elliot and Kathy's family seem to have everything in hand," Olivia said.

"Do you need to take any time, Liv?" Don asked and studied the confused expression on her face. "Time for you or for the kids?"

Olivia shrugged she did need some time but as she took no time off when her own mother died, she couldn't fathom why she felt she needed to because Kathy was dead – Kathy, her partner's bitch of an ex-wife whom she detested.

"Liv?" Don interrupted her thoughts. "How about you take the week? Help Elliot with the kids on Wednesday and see what you need to do after that?"

"Yeah, okay," Olivia agreed getting to her feet. The first thing she was going to do was sleep. She'd had no more than an hour's uninterrupted sleep since the previous Wednesday and she knew sleep was the best antidote to her current mood.

And that's just what she did after running a few errands, picking up some take out for a late lunch / early dinner and climbing into bed by seven. Her track record for interrupted sleep continued when she was woken at eight by knocking at her door.

She looked through the peephole and at first she couldn't see anyone but as she looked down she saw top of a head she knew all too well.

"Elizabeth Stabler! What on earth are you doing here?" she asked, throwing open the door and scooping up the girl.

"I wanted to see you Auntie Livvy, you didn't come over today," she said.

"Why didn't you call? I'd have come over," Olivia said closing the door and leading the child to the sofa.

"Everyone's in the house, all of mom's family and I don't think they really like you," she said with the honesty and innocence of a child. Olivia could have guessed that, she knew Kathy hated her, blamed her for Elliot spending more time at work than he needed to, there was no reason to believe her family wouldn't think the same.

"Who knows you are here?" Olivia asked, reaching for her phone.

"No one, I snuck out and took a train," she admitted.

"Oh Libby." Olivia picked up the girl and hugged her tightly. You didn't have to be a New York detective to know the city wasn't a safe place for an eleven year old girl out on her own at night.

Olivia held onto her as she dialled her father. After speaking to the person who answered the phone, a woman she didn't know, she waited for Elliot to pick up.

"Olivia?" he asked.

"Yeah, how did you guess?" she asked, knowing she hadn't given the woman her name.

"Kathy's sister just said it was 'that woman' so I sort of figured…" his voice trailed. "What's up?"

"I think you'll find one of your offspring is MIA," Olivia said, stroking Lizzie's hair.

"No, they're all here. Kathleen's in the sitting room with her grandmother, Maureen's in the kitchen, Dickie just walked through and Lizzie's …Lizzie? She was supposed to be upstairs." Olivia could hear the panic rising in his voice.

"El, she's here with me. Brought herself over and she's fine," she said.

"She's there? With you? How the hell…?" Elliot yelled.

"El, Elliot, sssh! Lizzie is fine, here, I'll put her on." She placed the receiver next to Lizzie's ear. "Talk to your father," she encouraged.

"Hello daddy," Lizzie said quietly.

"Lizzie, what…how…god, are you okay?" he said panic mingling with love and concern.

"I'm okay, daddy, Auntie Livvy's looking after me," she said.

"I'm coming to get you, baby girl," Elliot said, fishing for his keys in his pocket.

"NO! Daddy please don't, I want to stay with Auntie Livvy!" Lizzie cried into the phone. She dropped the phone and Olivia picked it up whilst trying to soothe the child at the same time.

"El…El…it's okay, calm down, it's me," Olivia said, cutting off Elliot.

"Liv, I'm coming over," Elliot said and she knew nothing she could say would change that.

"We'll be here."

By the time Elliot arrived Lizzie was asleep in Olivia's bed and she was sitting on the sofa not watching whatever was on the screen.

"Where is she?" Elliot said without greeting, moving past Olivia and into the apartment.

"Asleep in my bed," Olivia said, pulling his arm and slowing him down.

"How did she get here?" he asked, allowing himself to be lead to the sofa.

"Caught the train," she said.

"She what?" Elliot was back on his feet. "God, doesn't she know…"

"No, she doesn't Elliot; she just wanted to see me. I'm sorry," Olivia said, pulling him back to the sofa.

"What are you sorry about?" Elliot said, surprised by her apology.

"I'm sorry she scared you. I'm sorry she came to me instead of you," she said quietly.

"Livvy," he said, taking her hand. "Don't be sorry about that. I'm just glad she has you to turn to. I'm just sorry she had to cross town by herself to get to you."

Olivia got up and led Elliot into her bedroom and watched as he moved to the sleeping child. He sat on the edge of the bed and gently caressed her head. She stirred and sleepily looked up at her father.

"Hey baby girl," he said gently bending down and kissing her head.

"Hey daddy," she replied, entwining his fingers with hers.

"How are you doing?" he whispered.

"I'm good, daddy, can I please stay here tonight?" she asked, tears filling her eyes. Elliot looked from his daughter to Olivia who stood in the doorway, she nodded.

"Okay, baby, just for tonight, but tomorrow you have to come back home to me." He kissed her forehead again and waited until she drifted back off to sleep before rejoining Olivia who was in the kitchen.

"She's asleep," Elliot said, leaning against the bench.

"Coffee?" Olivia asked, flicking the kettle back on. "Or do you need to get back home?"

He smiled. He did need to go home but this was the first time in nearly a week he'd had a chance to be with Olivia without one of his children attached to her in some form or other.

"What?" she asked, noting his smile.

"Nothing," he replied. "Look, I'll say no to the coffee. I think that's the only thing running through my veins at the moment."

"Can I get you something else then?" Olivia offered, moving towards him.

"No…um, look is it really alright with Lizzie staying here tonight?" Elliot asked.

"It sure is and I can bring her home in the morning, you don't need to come back over again," Olivia said.

"Really? It's no trouble," he said.

"No, El, it's no trouble," Olivia repeated.

"Oh no, I meant it was no trouble for me to come back to you…to pick up Lizzie, I mean." His face colouring a little.

"So, I guess you need to go," Olivia said, providing him with an out.

'Yeah, I guess so," he said, making no effort to move.

Olivia studied his face, she couldn't quite read him.

"Hey," she said as she watched his eyes tear up. He shook his head and tried to keep them at bay but it was a battle he was about to lose. Olivia stood in front of him and ran her arms up and around his neck before drawing him close to her. She pressed her body against his as he leaned against the counter, his arms firmly wrapped around her. She could feel his head resting on her shoulder, his warm tears dripping onto her bare skin, quiet sobs shaking his body. She continued to hold him until she heard him sniffle and felt his head raise and his lips kiss the top of her head. She looked up and wiped away the tears still on his cheeks.

"It's going to be okay, El," she whispered. "I'm here for you...always."

That was all it took for the tears to return and she held onto him once again. They stood entangled until his cell rang and his eldest daughter asked him to come home.

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	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Notes: Nothing belongs to me …except the poem…that's mine…I wonder if Mr Wolf would trade?**

_**Dedication **_

_**This chapter and the poem, Amazing Grace, are**_

_**in loving memory of Angela**_

_**and the beautiful daughter she left behind…**_

_**with all my love**_

_**xoxox**_

_**xoxox----------------------------------------------------xoxox **_

Wednesday

After three changes of clothes Olivia decided on a black pants suit with a pale pink blouse underneath. She was still deciding on earrings when Fin knocked on her door.

"Morning Livvy," he said as she opened the door wider to let him in.

"Hey Fin, am I late?" she asked, glancing at the clock.

"Nah, I'm early. Just thought I'd take a few minutes to check up on you," he said, leaning against the back of the sofa.

"Me? Why do I need to be checked up on?" Olivia asked, coming back from her bedroom.

"Well…I just thought…you know…" Fin struggled to find the right words.

"I'm fine, Fin," she said squeezing his arm. "Thanks."

"Anytime," he said, knowing he hadn't done much.

They arrived at St Theresa's Catholic Church and met up with Don, Munch and Casey on the steps outside. Olivia watched as the mourning cars pulled up and Elliot stepped out with his children. Each of them dressed in an assortment of black clothing. She smiled when she noticed Lizzie's pink tee underneath her jacket was the same shade as her own.

The Stabler family made their way up the steps, stopping along the way to receive the sympathies and best wishes of those gathering for the solemn occasion. Family members, in-laws and friends embraced the children, showering them with the love and affection they so desperately needed.

Don took Olivia's arm and the squad moved as one into the church and took up a pew half way along the aisle. They wanted to be close enough to let Elliot know he had their support but not too close as to intrude. They sat down and made quiet small talk until Kathy's coffin was wheeled before the altar and then silence ensued. They watched as a huge wreath of yellow roses, Kathy's favourite, was set on it and a large framed photograph placed on a nearby table.

In a hushed silence, the mourners filtered in, many genuflecting before taking a seat in the quickly filling pews. Joshua Stabler, Elliot's oldest brother, stopped by their pew and whispered something to Don who was at the aisle end of the row. Don turned to his team. "Elliot wants us to go up closer to the front," he whispered.

Silently they followed Joshua and he pointed to the second row pew and Don shook his head.

"Josh, you've got a big family, surely Elliot would want them to sit here," Don whispered.

"No, he was quite clear about it," Josh paused. "Besides I don't think it's about what he wants, I think it's more about what he needs." He nodded briefly towards Olivia who was out of earshot. Don smiled and nodded. He gestured to the pew and the group filed in.

Olivia sat back in the pew and listened to whatever Casey was trying to tell her but her mind was a million miles away. She heard movement from the back of the church and knew instinctively it was Elliot coming in with his children; she bit down on her bottom lip. Today was going to be the hardest day of their young lives and there was nothing she could do to make it any better.

The family moved into the row ahead of them and each acknowledged the team. Lizzie called Olivia over.

"What is it, baby?" Olivia whispered, pushing the girl's hair back into place.

"I wanna sit with you," she whispered back.

"Libby, you have to sit there with your daddy and family. I'm going to be right behind you though, baby," she whispered. She could feel the stares from Kathy's family on the other side of the aisle.

"But Auntie Livvy…" Lizzie began.

"I'm going to be right here, baby, okay," Olivia said as the priest began the service.

Sounds of sobbing and sniffling echoed through the church as Father McIntyre spoke of Kathy's life and the legacy she left behind in the shape of four beautiful children. Music played, prayers were offered and whenever she could Olivia kept a hand on Lizzie's shoulder, letting the sad little girl know she was there. Whenever she thought it was getting too much, she'd feel Don's arm surround her and she'd take a deep breath and smile at him.

Don knew that for all her animosity towards Kathy, Olivia knew she was a good mother to the four precious people in front of them. She was the kind of mother who put her children first, the kind of mother Olivia would have liked.

Regardless of the mother she actually had, Don also knew Olivia missed her deeply, never getting over the regret of her mother dying so suddenly with so much unresolved. This was a funeral for another mother but the pain was still so raw for his favourite detective, it burdened his heart.

Halfway through the service, somewhere between standing and sitting or kneeling, Olivia couldn't keep up, she watched as Lizzie left her father's side and slipped into her pew and climbed into her lap. She looked up to find four more pairs of Stabler eyes on her. She smiled at them and gently rocked the now sobbing child in her lap. Elliot snaked his arm back to try and comfort his daughter but she clung tighter to Olivia and he let go.

A few more songs and prayers later, Father McIntyre called for the eulogies. Kathleen and Maureen stood up hesitantly before bending down to speak to their father, asking him to go with them. He looked down at Dickie, not wanting to leave him alone. Kathy's brother moved across to sit with him but Dickie shook his head and climbed over the back of the pew and sat himself between Olivia and his Uncle Don. These were the people he wanted, even at eleven he knew that blood made for relations but love made families and that's what he needed.

From the lectern, Elliot watched as Olivia kissed the heads of his twins and Don wrapped a supportive and loving arm around all three. He noticed one of Casey's arms was around Olivia and her other one was resting on Lizzie's back. He smiled to himself, for the first time in a week he actually thought he may be able to get his children through this darkness.

Maureen and Kathleen stood behind the lectern, their hands joined in a clenched ball, trying to will the other to get through this without breaking as each knew they could not get through it alone. Elliot stood just behind them, ready to comfort them but knowing they needed space.

"Our mommy was beautiful," Kathleen began, looking over at the nearby photo. "She was an amazing woman and although we…I…didn't always appreciate it, I know she did what she did because she loves…loved me, us."

"When we were little we had a wonderful childhood." Maureen said, in a proud but shaky voice. "Mom would always be there for us, milk and cookies after school, help with our homework, looking after us when we were sick. It wasn't always easy but we never doubted she loved us…never."

Her sister continued. "There were so many things we wanted to say today, we all talked about it but we thought a few words today wouldn't really do her justice. So between the four of us we came up with this poem."

"So mommy," Maureen all but whispered, "this is just for you."

_You, with that beautiful face  
You, made of precious gold and lace  
You, our heart is forever your place  
You, had such amazing grace_

_You, left this tear upon our face  
You, on our soul did leave your trace  
You, we never shall replace  
You, had such amazing grace_

_You, revolving out in space  
You, now free at your own pace  
You, left us alone in this life race  
You, had such amazing grace  
For you had such amazing grace_

As Elliot hugged his girls the organist played Amazing Grace and there were no dry eyes left in the church. The pallbearers came forward and lifted Kathy's coffin and began their slow walk down the aisle. Elliot followed behind with Maureen and Kathleen on each arm and he stopped at Olivia's pew for the twins, neither of them moved.

Don scooped Dickie up and carried him out and stood behind Elliot, the boy burying his head in Don's neck, not wanting to see the coffin in front of him, the photo behind him or the sea of faces looking at him. Olivia followed suit and Lizzie's posture was an exact copy of her twin's. She wanted nothing more than the solace of Olivia's arms. As they moved behind the coffin, Olivia felt an arm around her waist and knew it was Fin trying to guide her, Lizzie's hair was in her face and she was having struggling to see in front of her.

On the front steps, she tried to put her down or at least reposition her, at eleven she was getting too big to be carried but the child resisted. Olivia could see Don was having as much trouble with Dickie as she was with Liz. They watched as the coffin was put into the back of the hearse and the door shut before heading down the steps towards the mourning car. When there, Don handed Elliot his son, Elliot hugged and kissed him before guiding him into the vehicle.

Olivia did the same and to her relief Lizzie went willingly. Elliot kissed his daughter before getting her into the car. Olivia turned around and was swamped by Kathleen and Maureen.

"You did a beautiful job up there, girls," she said, kissing their foreheads. "Your mother would be very proud of you." She hugged the girls before gently easing them towards the car. She turned to find Elliot being hugged by their colleagues and so she patiently waited her turn. Their embrace was longer than the others and tighter but nobody mentioned it.

"We'll see you there?" he whispered into her ear. He knew they were all going to the cemetery but he just needed to hear it from her once again.

"Yeah, honey, I'll be there," she whispered in reply before kissing his cheek.

Elliot pulled back and looked at her, she had just called him honey and he wondered if she had realised it. There was no acknowledgment on her face and he didn't comment, this wasn't the time and it definitely wasn't the place.

_**xoxox----------------------------------------------------xoxox **_


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Notes: Nothing belongs to me…boo hoo**

**This one's for**** ElliotNOliviaSVU Lover - because she loves it and **

**Joanoa - because she's come over from the JAGside and taken a chance on SVU!**

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**

The graveside service and burial was just as wrenching as the funeral itself and Olivia thought to herself there was something to be said for a brief service – something to remember the dead but not to extend the pain and suffering of the mourners indefinitely. She stood behind the family, this time with Maureen wrapped in her arms, as Kathy's coffin was laid to rest. Lizzie had attached herself to Elliot and Olivia was pleased with this, she needed her daddy as much as he needed his little girl.

Heavy clouds gathered and as the mourning cars departed the cemetery the sky opened and rain poured down, reflecting the mood of those below it.

About eighty people converged on the Stabler residence after the service and Olivia and Casey spent most of the first two hours in the kitchen helping an array of sisters, sisters-in -law and aunts with the food. When the bulk of the food was eaten, Olivia sat down at the foot of the stairs, exhausted.

"Are you going to get some sleep anytime soon?" Casey asked standing before her friend.

"Hopefully," Olivia said, giving her a half hearted smile. She was desperate for sleep.

"How long are you going to hang out here?" Casey asked, nodding towards the sitting room.

"Well, since half the people here don't really like me, I was going to go as soon as possible," Olivia said quietly.

"But the other half _love_ you," Casey whispered in reply.

Olivia smiled wearily, she knew who Casey was talking about but it was a conversation she wasn't going to have right here and now.

"Maybe I'll go say goodbye now," Olivia said, glancing at her watch. It had just gone four, which was a reasonable time to go. "Give me a ride home?"

"Sure," Casey said, offering a hand to help her friend up.

It was a great relief to Olivia that her early departure was so well received by all. She didn't want to upset the kids any more but she needed time away and they needed to be with family. Elliot walked the ladies out and hugged and thanked Casey before she slipped into the driver's seat.

Slowly, he came back around to Olivia.

"Thank you," he whispered into her neck as she embraced him.

"You call me if you need me or …or just come over…anytime…if there's anything you need…or the kids," she replied, not quite knowing what she was offering but knowing she just had to.

"Anytime?" he whispered, not quite wanting to let her go yet.

"Anytime," Olivia echoed before breaking away.

They were three minutes into their trip home before Olivia's cell indicated there was a new message.

I NEED U was all it said.

Casey looked over at the screen, shook her head and turned the car back around. Elliot was waiting for them on the street, in front of his neighbour's house, obviously trying to be away from the prying eyes of his extended family. Casey pulled up and Olivia climbed out. She stood next to the car and watched him walk across to her. Before she could speak his lips came crashing down on hers taking her by surprise. She wrapped her arms around him and didn't resist his touch.

When he broke away she saw fresh tears on his cheeks.

"Thank you Olivia," he said quietly before turning and heading back to his house.

Olivia stood there a while longer before she heard Casey call her; absently she got into the car and buckled her belt.

"Some kiss," Casey said, bringing the car to life.

"Aha," was all Olivia could manage.

It was the last thing she thought would happen on the day of Kathy's funeral.

-----------/-------/---------------

Thursday was a quiet day at Olivia's. She didn't get out of bed until two and never bothered about getting dressed at all. She lounged around in her pjs and fought every urge she had to ring Elliot or just turn up on his door step. When her doorbell rang after six she jumped, she wasn't dressed for company. She looked out and it was Casey. She opened the door.

"Early night?" asked Casey, eyeing the pyjamas.

"Late morning, actually," Olivia said, shutting the door.

"Oh I see. Did you get some sleep?" Casey sat on the sofa and crossed her legs.

"Yeah, I did. Can I get you something?" Olivia asked.

"I was hoping to grab some dinner with you but as you're not dressed to go out, what's say we order in?" Casey said. Olivia agreed and Casey placed the call.

Forty five minutes later there was a knock on the door and Casey went to open it, she smiled to see Elliot and his kids standing there.

"Is it dinner?" Olivia called out from the kitchen.

"Not quite," Casey yelled back, _but may be dessert_, she thought to herself.

"Come on in," Casey said, "Liv's in the kitchen."

"I believe you ordered this," Elliot said, producing a bag of Chinese takeout. "Met the guy in the lift."

Olivia came out and was swamped by the Stabler children. Each girl hugging and kissing her, Dickie just wanting to be near her.

"We brought you some leftovers and your Chinese," Lizzie announced, pointing to the bags in her father's hand.

"Great!" Olivia said, "Then there's plenty for everyone."

"Wonder Woman, Auntie Livvy?" Kathleen said raising an eyebrow at Olivia's pyjamas.

"They were a present from me," said Casey before Kathleen could say anything else.

"They're…um, great," she said.

"And it's true. Auntie Livvy is Wonder Woman," said Lizzie wrapping her arms around Olivia's waist. Elliot just smiled; he'd always thought she had a lot in common with Linda Carter's alter ego.

Maureen took the bags from her father and followed Casey into the kitchen for plates and cutlery. She issued instructions to her siblings trying to get them away from Olivia to allow her speak to their dad but it failed.

Soon they were all seated around a seldom used dining table, the chatter quiet and subdued; after dinner was finished Casey cleared away the mess before saying her goodbyes and departing.

"Guess you want us to go too," Elliot said quietly to Olivia as they stood by the door.

She just smiled, shook her head and closed the door. "Coffee?"

He smiled and nodded and followed her to the kitchen. He wanted to make sure she was okay with yesterday's kiss, she seemed fine, happy almost, but he didn't want to complicate matters further.

Twice he tried to talk to her, each time a child interrupted. The third time he lost his nerve and it was Olivia who broached the subject.

"You want to talk about that kiss?" she asked quietly, her eyes on the door.

"Um, yeah," Elliot said, looking everywhere but at her. "I didn't really mean it…" he began but glancing at her realised it was the wrong choice of words. "What I mean is …well, I don't regret it, I wanted to, my timing's just a bit out." He looked up at her and was glad to see a smile on her face.

"I don't regret it either," she whispered, brushing her hand over his. "I just don't think we should…hi, kiddo, are you after something?" she asked Dickie as he entered the kitchen.

"Can I have a drink please, Auntie Livvy? he asked.

"Sure, what would you like?" Olivia asked, opening the fridge.

"Milk please."

Olivia grabbed a glass and poured the milk. "You can take it back out with you," Olivia said.

"Just don't spill it," Elliot called after him. "You were saying…"

"I was saying…I just don't think we should repeat it any time soon," she whispered.

"Why not?" Elliot asked, though in truth he knew the answer.

"Because you and the kids are very vulnerable and I don't want anyone getting hurt," she whispered.

"Why would they be hurt?" Elliot asked, glancing towards the door.

"Because they need to grieve their mother not just replace her with me…" she said quietly.

"But you wouldn't be replacing her …" he began.

"We know that but the kids just need time…" Olivia started.

"If the circumstances were different..." Elliot said.

"I'd have you pinned against that wall so fast your head would spin." Olivia smiled at him and Elliot had to remind himself to breath.

"Daddy, the twins are really tired. I think it's time we went home," Kathleen announced standing at the door.

"I think that's a good idea," said Olivia, moving towards her. "Have you collected all your things?"

"Yeah, Mo's doing it now," Kathleen answered.

Olivia stood by the apartment door and hugged and kissed all her visitors goodbye. Elliot was last and it took much restraint on both their behalf's to make it a friendly exchange and nothing more. Finally on her own, a little near midnight, Olivia fell asleep with a smile on her face, something very new to her.

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**Thank you for the amazing reviews I have received on this story - I am so very glad it has touched so many people. We are at the half way mark of this story and there are still some twists and turns to come...including this one...**

**Due to work commitments - i.e.School camp and taking 25 8-12year olds to Canberra for a week (10 hours each way in the bus) the next chapter of this story will not be posted until the weekend of the 24-25 November. **

** If you leave me lots of reviews - I promise I will post it as soon as I come home regardless of how tired and sleep deprived and cranky I may be. **

**Meanwhile there's lots of other stories in my portfolio you can check out for me...it may inspire me to write more.  
**


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Notes: Nothing belongs to me…boo hoo**

**Initially the following were to be posted in two chapters but I decided since you had to wait a week, I'd make it an extra long chapter….**

**This chapter is for Starryeyes who is working her way through my portfolio much appreciated!!!! **

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Tuesday (two weeks later)

Munch and Olivia were out on a job when Elliot called into the precinct to catch up with Don Cragen. Walking through the bullpen he saw Fin at his desk and stopped to chat.

"Hey man," Fin said standing to hug his friend, "great to see you here. Does this mean we have to give Olivia back to you? She's much prettier to sit in a car with than Munch."

Fin laughed but Elliot just shook his head. Olivia definitely made a prettier picture than John Munch but he wasn't sure working closely with her was a good idea anymore.

"We'll just see," Elliot said. "The boss in?"

"Yeah, he'll be glad to see you. You wanna catch up for a beer or three soon?" Fin asked.

"Sounds great. I'll call you." Elliot walked to the office door and rapped quickly.

"Enter!" Don yelled.

Elliot opened the door and moved into the office.

"Elliot, good to see you son. How are things?" Don asked, coming around his desk and briefly hugging him.

"We're getting there," Elliot said, taking the chair Don gestured to.

"And how are the kids coping?" Don asked sitting down next to him.

"Okay I think. Maureen and Kathleen went back to school last week, they have exams coming up. Dickie and Lizzie went back yesterday, that was a little harder but we managed," Elliot said, clasping his hands together to stop fidgeting.

"Something on your mind, son?" he asked, looking at Elliot's hands.

"Yeah, I think it's about time I got back to work…" he began.

"Sounds like a good idea to me." Don moved around to his desk and picked up the roster.

"But um…" Elliot started but stopped just as quickly.

"But what?" Don said, putting down the folder.

"Um…I don't know if I can come back full-time…I can't spend that much time away from home," Elliot said, knowing it would put his boss in a bind.

Don smiled and pulled a loose leaf from the folder, he passed it across the desk and Elliot read it quickly, a smile spreading across his face. It was news of a 'temporary but indefinite' position based at the 16th precinct and was effectively a cold case role. Although it wasn't SVU per se, it meant Elliot could come and go as he pleased but he'd be with his friends and would still be functioning as a detective.

"This looks good," Elliot said, eyeing his boss.

"I thought it would," Don said, trying to conceal a smile. "There's an additional benefit to it…"

"Yeah, what's that?" Elliot asked.

"You'll figure it out," Don smiled, knowing it paved the way for a new type of relationship for Elliot and Olivia.

He had been up in Dickie's bedroom after the funeral looking at the boy's collection of baseball cards when he happened to see Casey's car returning. He had watched with interest as Olivia stepped back out of the car to be greeted by Elliot. He knew they hadn't taken it any further, he was just hoping this may open up alternative avenues without truly splitting up his team.

A month later

Elliot had been back at work three weeks and his relationship with Olivia had deepened although it was still severely restricted to lunch dates, the occasional touch and a lot of cold showers, individually. Both knew they could jump into bed and it would be amazing but they didn't want to complicate things for the kids.

Elliot knew they would be thrilled, both Kathleen and Maureen had told him on different occasions during the separation and after the divorce that he should be with Olivia. He also knew the twins wanted them to be together but he wanted the relationship to be about them first and the children second. It sounded harsh but he couldn't help it – he'd spent more than a couple of years imagining what it would be like to have Olivia all to himself; to spend nights, days, weekends curled up in her bed with no interruptions.

Olivia was finding increasingly difficult to see him without 'seeing' him. True, she had spent most of her free time either at his house or at hers with at least one of his kids. She'd developed stronger bonds with the girls than with Dickie and at first she was concerned, she worried she may be was showing preference to the girls. Thinking she might try and even the score she offered take him to see Transformers, after he had begged his father to take him to the movie. To her surprise he declined, making a poor excuse about not wanting to see it any more and leaving Olivia bewildered.

Her bewilderment lasted two days until Lizzie inadvertently spilled the beans.

"How's Dickie?" Olivia asked, during her nightly phone call to Lizzie.

"He's good. He's going to see Transformers with Jimmy tomorrow," Lizzie said.

"Oh," replied Olivia. "I didn't think he wanted to see it."

"Oh yeah, just not with you," Lizzie said brightly, not thinking about who she was talking to.

"And why not with me?" Olivia asked, trying to sound casual.

"'Cos he has such a crush on you, and Kathleen teased him about it being a date," Lizzie giggled. Olivia tried to suppress her laugh – it explained so much about the boy's recent behaviours.

"Oh," was her only response.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Elliot was out following a paper trail midday on a Thursday when Don called Olivia into his office.

"Liv, there's a Michelle Hansen on the phone, she's the nurse at the twins' school, she wants to talk to you," Don said, handing over the phone.

"Olivia Benson," she said, looking over at Don, hoping it wasn't bad news. "Ah ha, yes, sure. I'll be there in twenty minutes." She replaced the receiver.

"What's up Liv?" Don asked, scanning his roster.

"Looks like Lizzie's just hit puberty and isn't handling it to well. She wants me to come pick her up. Is that okay? Olivia asked and Don nodded. "How about tomorrow, is it possible to take that too? I think she may need some TLC." Don nodded again; he'd never seen Olivia as settled and contented as he had in the last month.

The school secretary directed Olivia to the nurse's office and she walked slowly along the halls wondering just what state she'd find the youngest Stabler in. Getting her period would explain Lizzie's recent mood swings which the family had interpreted as the grieving process. She opened the door to find Lizzie sitting on the bed, her eyes red rimmed and her face pale.

"You must be Livvy," the nurse said, standing from behind her desk.

"Olivia Benson," she introduced herself.

"Hey baby," Olivia said as Lizzie came over to her. "Hey, hey, you're okay." Olivia crouched down and hugged the tearful girl.

"Elizabeth wasn't too sure what was happening and I have explained it to her," the nurse reported. "But I think she needs to hear it again from someone else at home."

"Didn't anyone tell you about this, Libby?" Olivia asked quietly.

"Not really," Lizzie whispered. "Mom said something once but I think she was waiting until…" Her voice faltered as tears came.

"It's alright, Libby." Olivia hugged her tightly. "Can I sign her out?" Olivia asked the nurse knowing she wasn't an emergency contact for the twins.

The nurse scanned down the emergency information sheet and nodded.

"Yes, you're a registered contact for Elizabeth," the nurse said and Olivia caught sight of Libby's panicked look, so she said nothing else.

She took the child's hand, collected her belongings from her locker and headed to the front office. She signed her out and stopped by the drugstore on the way back to her apartment.

They were home ten minutes before Elliot rang Olivia's cell wanting information about his daughter.

"Don't tell him, Auntie Livvy," Lizzie begged when she realised it was her father.

"It's okay, Libby, I'll take care of it." She kissed Lizzie's head and moved into the bedroom to take the call in private.

"Listen El, Lizzie's fine…" she began.

"But Don said the nurse called you…" he interrupted.

"Did Don say why?" Olivia asked.

"No. Why?" he asked.

"Lizzie got her first period today and wasn't expecting it. The poor thing was beside herself and so embarrassed," Olivia explained.

"Oh god, I forgot about that…Kathy…she…um…" Elliot tried to say.

"I know El, it's alright. The nurse spoke to her and I spoke to her and we're just having a girly afternoon. You know DVDs, chocolate, ice cream. Is that alright with you?" she asked, although it was already too late for him to say no.

"Yeah fine. Do you think she'll mind me coming by and seeing her?" Elliot asked.

"Um, she's horrified you'll find out. How about I bring her back to your place about dinner time?" Olivia suggested.

"Yeah okay," Elliot agreed.

"And El, is it okay for her to spend the day with me tomorrow. I thought I could take her shopping for some girly things, you know? She was asking about bras and underwear. Somehow she thinks girls with their periods shouldn't be wearing Barbie Doll panties," Olivia said.

"Um, yeah, sure," Elliot mumbled, glad Olivia was doing it instead of him.

Olivia and Lizzie arrived back home a little after six to find Elliot slaving away in the kitchen. He had called his mother, sister and two eldest daughters to work out a dinner menu of Lizzie's favourite foods. He knew she wouldn't want him to actually say anything to her but he had to let her know he was thinking of her and he loved her.

The dining table was being set by Dickie who was protesting his sister's fortune to get a day and a half off school and a special dinner without actually been sick. Elliot had not explained the finer points to him, just the bare essentials which covered not annoying his sister and leaving the chocolate alone – he'd learnt that one long ago, in a painful way, after eating the Mars Bar Olivia had hidden in her desk drawer.

By the time dinner was over and Elliot had the kids in bed, he came back to the sitting room to find Olivia dozing on the sofa. As carefully as he could he lay down beside her and ran his fingers through her hair. She smiled as she opened her eyes and saw his blue eyes looking down at her.

"Hey," she whispered.

"God, you're beautiful," he whispered back before gently kissing her.

"I bet you say that to all your partners," she replied before she ran her hand up his back, past his neck and into his hair, bringing his mouth to hers once more.

Finding the sofa less than accommodating they tried to shift but it was to no avail, the sofa was too small.

"We could take this upstairs," Elliot murmured, "to somewhere comfortable."

Olivia shook her head and drew back. "No."

"Why not? The kids are asleep…" he began.

"El, I'm not going upstairs, not to that room, that bed, ever…" she said quietly.

He looked at her puzzled; it wasn't that long ago she led him to believe she would take him in an instant. Now, she was telling a different story. He went to move away.

"Sorry," he muttered.

She pulled him back, her turn to be confused. "What are you sorry about?"

"I just thought you wanted this…" he paused.

"Oh babe, I do, oh I do." She kissed him quickly. "Just not in Kathy's bedroom, in Kathy's bed."

"Oh," Elliot replied, relieved she wasn't saying no to him, kicking himself he'd been so insensitive to both her and Kathy.

She kissed him again, just to show him how much she loved him, even if she couldn't tell him right now.

Their time on the sofa was interrupted half an hour later by Dickie calling out. By the time Elliot returned Olivia was asleep. He covered her with a quilt and turned off the lights. He sat and watched her for a while before heading off to bed, wishing he could take her with him, knowing why he couldn't.

When Olivia stirred the sitting room was lit by the morning light and Elliot was sitting by her, brushing strands of hair from her face.

"Morning," he said, kissing her forehead.

"Mmm Morning El," she smiled. "Sorry for falling asleep here."

"You never have to apologise for that, Livvy," he said, kissing her again.

She yawned and stretched and smiled at his intense interest at her every movement.

"What time is it?" she asked, sitting up.

"It's time I got to work. The girls have gone to school, Dickie left about ten minutes ago and your little shadow is still asleep," he said, winking at her.

"So, really it's just you and me," Olivia said, snaking her arms around his neck and drawing him to her.

"Yeah," he whispered back, his lips just brushing hers.

"Then I think I should tell you, El…" she paused and watched his eyes sparkle, thinking something altogether different. "You need to talk to your son."

Elliot pulled back confused. "Huh?"

"Well, I'm talking to Libby about puberty and sex…" she began.

"Sex?" Elliot's eyes opened wide.

"Well, she asked, El, I just went with the truth," Olivia tried to explain.

"What did she want to know?" he asked before he changed his mind. "No, I don't want to know." He stopped. "She's not wanting to…oh forget it!"

"El, babe, calm down, what on earth did you do with your eldest girls?" Olivia asked, quite bemused by his sudden melt down.

"Kathy handled that," he replied loudly before repeating it more quietly. He had all but convinced himself he could do this, that being a single parent was easier than this, after all Kathy had seemed to manage it for long enough, even before they were divorced.

Olivia took his hand. "And now we'll handle it together, okay?" She said and he nodded.

"How about you pick Dickie up from school early, talk to him and then meet Lizzie and me for dinner in the city?" Olivia asked.

"Yeah, okay..." he paused, wondering why she was so adamant he had to speak to Dickie today. "You think there's something specific I need to tell my son?"

Olivia nodded and smiled. "I think you can start with wet dreams."

"No, he's too young…I mean I was older than eleven before…no. Really…?" Elliot rambled.

"El, he's either having wet dreams or he's wetting the bed because he was up changing sheets at three this morning and when I went to see what was happening he was absolutely mortified. To allow him to save face I pretended not to see what he was up to and just came back to the sofa," she explained, holding onto Elliot's hand. He was having a difficult time comprehending just how quickly his twins were growing up.

"Okay, I'll talk to him today. I promise." He kissed her again and headed off to the precinct, knowing the work portion of the day would be the easiest.

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We had a wonderful school trip to Canberra - very, very long days but the kids did great and we all enjoyed it. It's 8.20pm on Friday night - I've been home an hour and I'm going to bed. Thanks in advance for any review - I may be awake by Sunday to reply :-D

HELP! I am having trouble saving format changes in my stories - eg the above note is supposed to be bold & italicised but it won't save. The Christmas one I have coming up won't save altered format either - any suggestions?


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Notes: Nothing belongs to me…boo hoo…oh except the poem…but you'd have known that as soon as you read it!**

**This chapter's for all those who are reading this story but not reviewing…I'd love to hear from you guys too!**

**----------------------------------------------------------------e&o e&o e&o e&o ----------------------------------------------------------**

When Elliot arrived at the school to pick up his son he asked to check the emergency contacts yet again. He had done so the day he had returned them to school after their mother's death and had put Maureen and his mother down, not wanting Olivia to feel trapped in any way.

The secretary produced Dickie's file with a photocopied sheet attached to it. It was a print out with all Olivia's contact details and a note on the bottom which read: _Please change Lizzie and Dickie's details to include this._ It was signed _'Elliot Stabler'_ but it definitely wasn't his signature. He looked down at his son who seemed overly engrossed in the tiles beneath his feet.

"Everything alright there, Mr Stabler?" the secretary asked.

"Um, yes…seems to be," Elliot replied handing over the file.

They were two minutes into the ride home before Dickie caved.

"It was all Lizzie's idea," he said. "She said she only wanted Aunty Livvy and she said we had to do it and she said if I didn't she'd tell Marnie Simpson I have a crush on her and I DON'T and so we typed up that letter."

"That wasn't the right thing to do, was it son?" Elliot said in the sternest voice he could muster. Though he was delighted with their obvious affection for the woman he loved.

"No, dad," Dickie apologised.

"Well, we'll deal with that later with your sister. Now onto other matters…" he said, eyes firmly planted on the road ahead. "Son, we need to have a talk."

"A talk or _the _talk," asked Dickie.

"Well, um, _the _talk, I guess you could say," Elliot said, looking straight ahead.

Dickie slunk down in his seat and shoved his hands deep into his pockets. He figured _the _talk would be pretty much what Billy O'Reilly told him last summer but still, nervous butterfly flutters began in his stomach. When he glanced at his father and saw that he was nervous too, those butterflies became F14's. By the time he heard his father mention something about discharge; he was up to 876 green bottles hanging on the wall.

Elliot finished up as they pulled into the driveway.

"So, any questions son?" he asked, finally looking the boy in the eye.

"Um yeah dad, one if that's okay?" Dickie asked half a smile on his face.

"Sure son, go ahead." Elliot steeled himself, knowing whatever came he could face it, after all he was a New York Police detective, he'd seen it all, heard it all and nothing an eleven year old could say would throw him. "Well?"

"Why are we parked in next door's driveway?"

Life continued on for Olivia and the Stablers, her time split between their house and her apartment, Elliot's own house all but forgotten. A week before Christmas Olivia scanned her apartment, somewhere amongst the Christmas decorations and presents lay the remnants of her new life, discarded clothes left on chairs and the sofa, none of which were hers, cartridges for Game Boys and Nintendo's, she still couldn't master, sat on the coffee table, assorted hair clips and scrunchies were abandoned on the side tables, all left behind by her frequent visitors and overnight guests whom she loved more than she ever thought possible.

There was nothing specifically Elliot's – it was still too complicated to go there, to begin a proper relationship and so they'd both decided to wait and as difficult as it was, they were succeeding.

The children convinced Elliot to go for a low key Christmas, presents were still wanted but the full family gathering and big Christmas lunch was a no go. It was an incredibly difficult time contemplating their first Christmas without their mom and they didn't want all their traditional festivities; it would just be too hard.

Kathleen suggested they go to Elliot's house and have Christmas Day there. It's was a place where they had never celebrated Christmas before and would therefore be much easier on everyone. Olivia spent Christmas Eve there with Elliot cleaning the dust covered house before decorating it brightly with Christmas cheer. The fridge was filled with an assortment of dishes she had prepared earlier, none which included turkey or plum pudding.

"Doesn't that look beautiful?" Olivia said, hands on hips looking at the tinsel strewn mantel.

Elliot came from behind and snaked his arms around her waist before kissing her neck. "Yep!"

"You're not looking at it, El," she said, leaning her head back and allowing him to continue kissing her.

"I'm looking at the most beautiful thing in this room…in the world," he whispered.

Olivia spun around in his arms and kissed him deeply, her hands freely exploring his body and ecstatic his hands were doing the same to her. She stepped backwards and fell onto the sofa, bringing him crashing down on top of her. More concerned about getting his shirt off him than anything else, she didn't register the knock on the door until she heard the key in the lock.

Quickly Elliot jumped up as Olivia buttoned her shirt. He sat and grabbed a cushion, sitting it on his lap as his eldest daughter called out to him. There were certain surprises children didn't need to have on Christmas Eve.

"Hey honey," Olivia called, throwing some decorations back into the box, on the pretext she had been working hard.

"Hey Auntie Livvy, hi dad, the place looks great," she said surveying the room.

"Yeah, it's been hard work though," Elliot said, putting his feet up on the coffee table. "To what do we owe this pleasure?"

"I was at a Christmas function a few blocks away and when I phoned Kathleen she said you were here. I thought I might get a lift home…is that ok?" Maureen asked.

"Sure, Mo, your dad was leaving soon," Olivia said.

"What about you Liv, are you coming home with us too?" Maureen asked, desperate for the relationship between her dad and Olivia to become more than it was. She had wished for it, prayed for it and had even asked Santa for it.

"No honey," she replied, and watched as Elliot's face dropped, he'd been sure she'd spend the night if not with him then at least in the house. "I'm staying here tonight. There's a lot to do first thing tomorrow morning and besides you guys are all going to the midnight service."

"We wanted you to come too," Maureen said before her father could answer.

Olivia moved to hug the young woman who was standing next to her father. "I know you did but not this Christmas, maybe the next one."

And so it was that Maureen and Elliot departed fifteen minutes later leaving her alone.

Olivia did some last minute cleaning before taking herself upstairs to the bedroom. She stripped off and showered before donning one of Elliot's NYPD shirts to sleep in. She slipped into his bed and prayed things had of been different and he had stayed but she knew why he couldn't and simply sighed at the photo of him and the kids on the bedside table. She went to sleep with happy Christmas thoughts running through her mind, the first time in a long time.

Christmas Day dawned icy and dark as Olivia padded her way down to the kitchen. As she flicked on the sitting room light she was surprised to see a large, brightly wrapped present sitting on the coffee table which wasn't there the night before. She looked at gift tag which simply read, _Dear Olivia from Santa_. She smiled at Elliot's handwriting.

She debated whether she should open it or wait for him to arrive but curiosity got the better of her and so she ripped the paper. There was a box inside the outer box and a smaller one inside that. It took a great deal of unwrapping until she came to a small rectangular blue box. She opened it slowly and was dazzled by the gold chain with a sparkling diamond heart. With great care Olivia eased it from the box and, as she did, the base of the box came up too, revealing Elliot's note.

_Olivia, between you and me_

_I know that is how it has to be_

_But you have to know this to be true_

_I really am so in love with you_

_I know we'll wait and that's alright_

_Just know I love you, with all my might_

She cried as she read through his poem, twice and by the third reading she just sat down and sobbed. She put the necklace on and looked at the diamond heart sitting on her chest set off by the blue of Elliot's shirt and then cried some more.

It wasn't quite the reaction Elliot had expected and he watched on very concerned from the kitchen doorway.

"Livvy," he said quietly, moving towards her. "I didn't mean for it to upset you so much. The poem wasn't that bad was it, I tried my best…I even made it rhyme," he said as he dropped to his knees in front of her and tried to wipe away her tears.

"I'm…not …upset," she mumbled through her tears.

"Really?" he brushed her hair back and lifted her head. She nodded.

"It's just…just…" she stopped.

"Just what?" Elliot prompted, one hand running through her hair, the other resting on her bare thigh.

"Just beautiful. Thank you El," she said before kissing him, deepening the kiss quickly.

As he broke away for air, he brushed the tears from her face.

"It was worth it just for that kiss," he said before kissing her again. "I mean it though, Olivia, I do love you and I will wait forever."

Olivia wrapped her arms around him and drew him close. "I love you so much, Elliot. You do know that, don't you?"

"I do now," he said, a huge smiled spreading across his face.

"You do understand though…" she began.

"I understand you love me and you want to give the kids the chance to grieve their mom properly…but you need to understand those same kids would have you living at the house today if you wanted too," he explained gently. Olivia nodded. "Do you know…," he continued. "The kids spent most of the last two weeks secretly rearranging the house. Mo and Kathleen are now sharing the master bedroom, the twins still have their own rooms, just different ones, and I now have Lizzie's room."

"Really?" Olivia asked, wiping her eyes. "Why?"

"Because I know how you feel about being in 'Kathy's room' and the older girls figured it out for themselves," he said.

"Why do you get Lizzie's pretty pink room?" Olivia asked linking her fingers with his.

"Because Lizzie said you've already slept in her bed so you could have it." He leaned up and kissed her lips again. Olivia only sighed.

'Kathy's room' was only part of the problem, now she had to face the prospect of being in the mother role rather than the favourite aunt. She could do the aunt thing but mothering was something entirely different and she wasn't sure she could do it. The one thing she was positive about was that she couldn't talk to Elliot about it. It was something she needed to work through on her own.

"Now, Livvy," he said standing and kissing her cheek. "As much as I love you in my shirt and with that necklace, the rest of the Stablers will be arriving soon and you may want to put something else on."

Olivia kissed him again and headed up stairs her head still swimming about what had happened and what was yet to come.

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**Thanks for the continuing reviews...much appreciated.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's Notes: Nothing belongs to me – the characters or the song…boo hoo…**

**This chapter's for onetreefan whose review made this my most reviewed story….**

**-------------------------------------------------------------hohohohohohohoho ----------------------------------------------------------------------**

The day continued with new traditions being created and plenty of food being eaten. Tears were shed at different times for the loss they had all endured but no one really wanted to talk about it. It was to Elliot's great surprise it was Olivia who encouraged the topic after lunch. She was snuggled up on the sofa with Lizzie in her lap, Lizzie's thumb back in her mouth, something which was troubling Elliot.

"Hey, baby girl, don't do that," Elliot said, sitting in the armchair watching them.

Lizzie just grimaced and held tighter to Olivia.

"Lizzie," Elliot said a little louder.

Olivia shook her head at Elliot before kissing Lizzie's head. "You want to talk about something, Libby?" she asked quietly. Lizzie shook her head. "It's okay, Lib, talk to us," she said, stroking the child's hair.

Gently she placed her hand over Lizzie's and eased the thumb from her mouth. Lizzie responded by turning her head further around and closing her eyes. Olivia rocked gently before easing the girl's face up to meet hers.

"You're safe here, baby, you can talk about anything," she whispered.

"Even mommy," Lizzie whispered back before glancing at the faces watching her.

"Of course you can talk about your mommy, Libby." She kissed her forehead.

Lizzie took a deep breath; her thumb hovering near her mouth, Olivia held it gently.

"I miss mommy…" she paused and Olivia kissed her again. "I miss her perfume and her smile and her kisses. I miss her tucking me in at night and …" She buried her head into Olivia's chest and sobbed. Kathleen's hand came over and ran through her sister's golden locks.

"I miss her smile and the way she cooked French toast. Believe it or not I also miss the way she used to yell at me when I missed curfew…at least she was there," Kathleen said.

Dickie sat up on his Elliot's lap. "I miss her taking me to soccer practice and shouting the loudest and I miss it when we used to call into Dairy Queen when Lizzie was at her dance classes," he said quietly as he fiddled with his father's collar.

"I miss hearing her singing in the shower and roast lamb dinners and the way she folded my tees just so. I miss…oh, I miss everything," Maureen said tearfully, as she sat on the arm of Elliot's chair.

Lizzie looked up at Olivia and she knew she had to say something. "Well, the things I miss about your mom," she began before looking over at Elliot who looked very concerned, "are her ginger nut cookies which she used to send in with your dad to work. I miss her laugh and I miss the way you guys used to smile when you saw her." Olivia was surprised there were things she actually missed about the woman.

"Daddy?" Kathleen said.

"Oh, my turn," he said, glancing at Olivia. "I miss those funny faces she'd pull when she was trying to cheer you up. I miss hearing her sing those lullabies to you in the middle of the night. I miss the little notes she put in my lunch bag when I first started at the precinct."

"Can we sing her favourite Christmas song, dad?" Dickie asked quietly.

"Sure," Olivia replied.

In disjointed harmony they sang

Angels we have heard on high

Sweetly singing over the plains

And the mountains in reply,

Echoing their joyous strains.

Glo-ori-a

In excelsis de-o

Glo-ori-a

In excelsis de-o

Shepherds, why this Jubilee?

Why your joyous strains prolong?

What the gladsome tidings be

Which inspire your heavenly song?

Glo-ori-a

In excelsis de-o

Glo-ori-a

In excelsis de-o

The song stopped two verses short when sobs riddled the lyrics and made it impossible to continue, but each heart was gladdened they had given tribute to the woman they had lost.

As the afternoon wore on Olivia stood and made her goodbyes, each child pleaded with her to stay and return to the house but she declined each one. Elliot didn't bother to ask, he knew she was working through her own things but he silently prayed she'd agree to one of his children's requests.

Olivia returned to her own apartment, pleased the day had gone as well as it did, saddened she was once again on her own. She fingered the chain around her neck and smiled; Elliot Stabler loved her and that was the best Christmas present she could have received.

She spent a few hours flicking through magazines and dancing around the television channels but she couldn't settle. There was only one thing she needed and he had already taken the kids back home. She would have to make do with the memory of his kiss.

As she dozed on the sofa she was surprised by a knock. "It's us," she heard a chorus of voices from behind the wooden door.

"Hello us," she said, smiling as she swung the door open.

"Merry Christmas Auntie Livvy," they all said as they traipsed past her and deposited their coats on the armchair.

"I didn't expect to see you guys here tonight," Olivia said, looking at Elliot.

"Don't look at me," he said, putting his hands up. "Maureen was driving home and before I realised it we were parked downstairs.

Olivia looked over at Maureen.

"Hey, don't look at me like that," Maureen said, "I was just doing the thing we voted on."

"Voted on?" asked Elliot.

"You both gave us wonderful presents and we really didn't get you anything, dad, so we figured coming to Liv's would be the best thing for you. So, if you'll excuse us, we're going to watch cable in Livvy's bed," she said, ushering her siblings into the said room.

"Some kids you've got," Olivia said as she led Elliot to the sofa.

"I know," he answered sitting down and pulling Olivia onto his lap.

"Is this what you wanted for Christmas?" Olivia asked, nuzzling his neck.

"Exactly what I wanted," he replied running his hand beneath her tee and around her back.

She started to squeal with delight at his touch but quickly clamped her hand over her mouth.

"God, sorry," she giggled, nodding towards the closed door.

"Don't worry about it. I'm sure they already know what we're doing?" Elliot said, resuming his previous activities. His hand running over a rather ticklish spot saw Olivia collapse into a fit of giggles.

"Shh," Elliot whispered hoarsely, laying down and bringing her with him. "Let me see if I can stop those giggles," he said, tangling his fingers in her hair and bringing her face to his. His tongue quickly gained access and Olivia's giggles dissipated.

Olivia's hands ran over his body as his explored hers. She deepened their never ending kiss and writhed around on top of him trying to take in as much air as possible without breaking the kiss. Before long she realised things were going to progress a whole lot faster than she had anticipated and the laughter from the bedroom reminded her it probably wasn't the best time and place.

"El," she groaned as she pulled back. He pulled her back and didn't let her speak. "El," she said again, "stop!" and he did.

"What's wrong?" he whispered hoarsely.

"We need to stop," she whispered in reply.

"Huh?" he muttered, still nibbling on her neck.

"Elliot, you know I love you and this would be the best Christmas present ever but the first time we make love is not going to be on my sofa with the kids in the next room," she whispered.

Maureen shut the bedroom door quietly. "Kat, we've got to take the twins home...now!"

"Why?" asked Kathleen, remaining cross legged on the bed.

Maureen dragged her sister off the bed and whispered the conversation she'd just overheard.

"You mean they've never…" Kathleen began, before Maureen covered her mouth for her.

"No, so let's get the twins out of here and give them some space," she said, putting on her shoes. "Dickie, Lizzie, get your shoes on, we're going home."

"Why? Auntie Livvy won't mind if we sleep here tonight," Dickie said.

"Yeah!" Lizzie chimed in.

"Listen, you guys," Maureen said in a low voice. "We need to go home and let Auntie Liv get to bed."

"Why?" Lizzie said.

"Because we have to," said Kathleen.

"Is daddy coming home too?" she asked.

"No, he needs to stay with Auntie Liv," Maureen explained.

"Why? Is she sick?" Dickie asked tying his laces.

"Um, why do ask?" Kathleen asked cautiously.

"Because when I went to the bathroom before I heard dad tell her she was very hot," he explained and the eldest girls couldn't help but laugh.

"Yeah Dickie, Auntie Liv is sick and dad's going to make her better," Maureen said quickly.

When they were ready to go, Maureen opened the door and coughed loudly, giving the pair a chance to rearrange things. At a rapid pace the four moved through the apartment.

"Daddy, Kat and I are taking the twins home, we'll see you tomorrow," Maureen said, trying not to look at her father's flushed face.

"Are you sure?" Elliot asked, pulling his shirt back down.

"Yeah daddy," said Kathleen, "more than sure. Say goodnight guys."

"Night!" the twins said in unison as they were ushered out the door, Elliot just looked at Olivia.

"Merry Christmas, daddy and Auntie Livvy," said Maureen, as she got the others through the door. "No one's in the other room now." She winked and smirked at them.

"Oh, Auntie Livvy," Dickie said coming back to the door. "I hope dad fixes you up real good and you feel much better tomorrow."

Maureen's face flushed the darkest red Olivia thought possible until she looked at Elliot's. Maureen quickly shut the door behind her and Elliot just stared at Olivia, unsure of what to do next.

Several minutes passed until Elliot could find his voice.

"Um…yeah," he paused. "Um…"

"Words not coming, Elliot?" Olivia chided as she stood up from the sofa.

"Um, no, I mean yeah." Watching as she walked towards the bedroom, he was overwhelmingly relieved when she crooked a finger and beckoned him to follow.

She reached up and placed her hands behind his neck, pulling him to her as she walked backwards to the bed.

"So, Detective Stabler, are you going to fix me up 'real good'?" she asked, raising her eyebrow.

He studied her closely, hoping she was making the offer he had prayed for.

"Am I allowed to?" he asked, not wanting to presume anything after all this time.

"Oh yeah," she said breathlessly.

Before long all clothes were shed, lying where they fell, or were thrown and before long their bodies were entwined on the cotton sheets.

"God, I love you, Liv," Elliot said, tracing her cheek gently.

"Love you too, El," she whispered.

"Are you really sure about this?" he asked, knowing that once they started he'd have an extremely difficult time stopping – ever.

"More than sure – it's exactly what I asked Santa for." Olivia pulled him onto her and left him with no doubt she was a more than willing participant.

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**There four chapters left in this story...I thought I'd prepare you for the conclusion - reviews are welcome, as always :-)  
**


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Notes: Nothing belongs to me …boo hoo…**

**This chapter's for phantomliberty...who came across to the reviewers side... :-D **

**-------------------------------------------------------hohohohohohohoho ----------------------------------------------------------------------**

It was dawn when Olivia awoke to find Elliot's presence was indeed reality and not another one of her nocturnal fantasies. She watched him sleep for a while before deciding his sleeping didn't suit her needs. Gently she blew into his face but he didn't stir. Then she reached over and kissed his lips, his eyelids fluttered but remained closed, she resorted to running her hand over his chest and while that got a better response he didn't wake completely. Olivia decided she had one last option; she rolled over on top of him and kissed him passionately. He was awake.

"Starting something, Detective," he mumbled, extracting his arm from the tangled sheets and wrapping it around her.

"Yep, trying to make up for lost time," she replied nipping at his bottom lip.

"We'll you have no objections from me," he said, rolling them over.

"Didn't think I would," she muttered from beneath his lips.

Elliot studied her face as they became intimately connected yet again, with each one of his thrusts he watched as her chocolate eyes darkened while gazing back at him.

"El, I think this is a record for me," she moaned as she recalled their numerous encounters the night before.

"Me too," he murmured, continuing with his slow, almost torturous movements.

"Do you think we're overdoing it?" Olivia asked, trying to take her mind off her building orgasm so she could wait for him.

"Nah," he replied moving deeper and deeper into her. "But we're probably pleasing Lizzie."

"Huh?" Olivia was confused.

"She wanted a baby sister for Christmas," Elliot answered, moving ever closer to the edge.

He watched as her eyes watered and while she didn't change her motions he knew something had definitely changed. "Liv, what is it?"

"Nothing," she murmured, closing her eyes for the first time. Now was not the time to be thinking about babies and how terrible a mother she would be.

They kept moving in unison until Elliot saw silent tears trickling down her cheeks, she turned her head, praying he wouldn't notice. But there was nothing about her he didn't notice, nothing ever.

Quickly, he rolled them over so she was on top of him. He lay still and wrapped his arms around her before kissing her head.

"You've stopped," Olivia mumbled into his chest, ignoring her own tears.

"Yes and I will stay stopped until you talk to me," he said kissing her head again.

"There's nothing to say," she replied. The night had been so perfect she didn't want to spoil it by her own damned insecurities.

"Why are you crying?" he whispered.

"I'm happy," she replied, looking up at him and trying to smile. She didn't succeed in convincing him.

"No, baby, they're not tears of happiness. Talk to me, Livvy, please," he begged.

"Oh El, it's nothing really…" her voice trailed.

"Lizzie wants a baby sister," he repeated quietly but firmly and watched as the tears bubbled over. He knew that had been the trigger.

She buried her head in his chest and sobbed quietly. Elliot held her tightly and said nothing, wanting her problem to be told in her own words.

When her tears subsided, she went to roll off him but his grip tightened and he wouldn't let her go.

"Tell me, Livvy," he whispered.

A few sniffles, five deep breaths and what seemed to Elliot like an eternity later, she began, her head resting on his chest not daring to look at him.

"I am in love you Elliot," she said playing with the chain around her neck, his present to her. "And I am in love with your kids too. I never knew it was possible to feel such an affinity to anyone, let alone five people who all share the same surname." She felt him kiss her head. "But…" He held his breath; nothing good came after a but.

"But…" he prompted when she said nothing else.

"But I am really, really scared…terrified actually," she admitted in a whisper.

"About what, Liv?" he whispered in return, scared of her fear.

"About being a mother…" She let a small sob escape and felt his arms tighten around her. "We know I had no role model, we know I have a range of parental issues. I am just scared that if I get involved with your kids as someone more than Auntie Liv I'll mess them up."

"Olivia," he raised her face and made her look at him. "You are already involved with my children and they love you unreservedly. You love them and I know you would never hurt them or mess them up deliberately. I trust you implicitly – you just have to learn to trust yourself."

She shook her head. She knew what he was saying was right, his kids were amazing and they loved her unconditionally but if they had a child of their own, a baby who relied wholly on her that would be a whole other matter. He read her mind.

"Liv, if…we have a baby …Lizzie's little sister, then you would be amazing too. You wouldn't have to do it any of it on your own and the advantage with Stabler number five is we would have four built in babysitters." He kissed her lips.

"I just don't…" Olivia began.

"Livvy, darlin', we're getting ahead of ourselves though, aren't we? We made love for the first time less than twelve hours ago, we don't need to be discussing babies just yet, do we?" he asked.

Olivia smiled and kissed him. "No, we don't but if the topic comes up again we can't play favourites."

"Play favourites?" Elliot asked, drawing her face back up.

"Lizzie might want a sister but Dickie wants a brother."

A few long and tender kisses later, Elliot flipped them back over and continued where they had not long left off.

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**Gotta love Christmas…I'm hoping Santa delivers El for me too this December.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's Notes: Nothing belongs to me …boo hoo…**

**This chapter's for MrsLee, BlissfulCurses and Olivia-Jordan...my wonderful Australian compatriots...it's hot, desperately dry and we have a new government / Prime Minister...we need all the entertainment we can get... **

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Elliot and Olivia's relationship continued to blossom and while she was still hesitant about moving into the house, she did spend more and more time there. January saw long work hours for her and she went days without seeing a Stabler, something which she found desperately hard. The six phone calls a day just didn't do it for her.

By early February she was experiencing doubts about it all over again. Dickie was still reluctant to interact with her, she was sure it was more than a crush, Lizzie's thumb seemed to be a permanent fixture in her mouth, especially when she was asleep and Olivia couldn't change it. Maureen had moved back on campus and was not around as much and they were all feeling the effects of her absence and as for Kathleen, she was still living at home but spent most of her time in her bedroom studying or chatting with friends.

Olivia began to feel like she didn't belong. She still loved Elliot with all her heart and she loved the kids unconditionally but they all were doing their own things and Olivia wondered whether now, after the initial grief of Kathy's death had passed, they were all ready to move on without her.

"Whatcha thinkin'?" asked Fin as he and Olivia sat in the squad car late on a bitterly cold Wednesday night.

Olivia shook her head, she wanted to talk to him, she wanted to talk to someone she trusted who wasn't Elliot but she just didn't know where to begin.

"Girl, just take a deep breath and spill." He turned in his seat and watched her.

It took her a while to work up the courage but finally she began:

"I love El, I really do. I'm just thinking it may not work out. I don't think I fit in…I'm not Kathy, I'm not one of them…" she paused.

Just as Fin was about to reply his cell phone rang. He grabbed it and noted the information they were waiting for.

"Edgar Mansfield was just spotted outside the Talbot Residential Tower," he reported, bringing the car to life and tearing off down the street.

Edgar Mansfield was a serial child sex offender released on parole not two weeks prior who had was 'a person of significant interest' in an assault the day before. Fin brought the car to a screeching halt and both jumped out. Close behind them was Munch and Elliot's replacement Phillip Roberts. Olivia showed a photograph of Mansfield to the doorman.

"Yeah, strange man, he went up to the fourth floor about twenty minutes ago," the old man replied.

As soon as the elevator doors opened Olivia and Fin could hear screams echoing through the hall. Finding 4G to be the source of noise they ran to the door.

"Police! Open up!" Fin screamed. He pushed the door which opened freely.

They raced through the apartment to follow the screams which stopped abruptly.

Flinging open the bedroom door Olivia caught sight of a blonde girl, no more than twelve laying naked on her bed, her legs spread and blood seeping from her onto the Care Bear sheet below. She looked up at the child's face; red, puffy and wet. It was instantly evident she was dead – the abrupt ending to her screaming caused by a broken neck. All Olivia could see was Lizzie, it was the moment she truly knew how Elliot felt during all the child related cases he'd worked on. This child may have been Gracie Callum in life but in death Olivia could only see Elizabeth Stabler and she hated the man who had perpetrated this with more venom than any other person in her life – even her rapist father.

Ignoring Fin's calls she climbed through the open bedroom window and raced down fire escape. To her pure joy, she found Mansfield had attempted to jump the last two floors and fractured his ankle in the process. She drew her gun and moved towards him. Nothing would have given her more satisfaction at that moment than aiming the gun between his legs and firing.

She neared him, not speaking. She raised her gun and watched as he cowered back into the trash cans which surrounded him.

"Please don't do it, please don't do it!" Mansfield begged as Olivia released the safety catch and cocked the gun.

"Is that what the little girl said to you?" she hissed through gritted teeth.

Fin raced down the escape, leaving Munch and Roberts to attend to the apartment above.

"Liv! Don't!" he yelled, catching up to her.

"Why not?" she yelled back. "This worthless piece of scum isn't going to be missed."

"Liv!" he said again and this time she turned to look at him. He was amazed by what he saw, though the eyes were chocolate brown he saw in them the same burning anger he had seen all too often in crystal blue ones. He placed his hand over her gun and lowered it. She glared at him. "Livvy, girl, you have no worries- you're definitely a Stabler."

As the uniform crew came in to arrest Mansfield, he lunged at Olivia.

"Stupid bitch," he screamed. "Should have shot me when you had the chance. The next little girl I get will be just for you."

As Olivia took a step towards him he jumped forward and head butted her, catching her on the side of the face and causing a lump to appear almost instantly. Before either could inflict additional damage, Fin shoved him back against the wall and he was dragged off.

For the first time in a long time, Fin and Olivia conceded the case and collar to others. She was resistant at first but Fin was very convincing.

"I'm taking you to the hospital or home…your choice?" Fin said, inspecting her face more closely.

"I'm not going to hospital," she replied.

"Then home it is."

They had been driving ten minutes, most of which Olivia had spent with her eyes closed, trying to calm herself and cleanse her mind of the latest victim, when she finally looked out the window. She noted the trees and the landmarks and knew she was going further away from her apartment.

"Fin, I thought you were taking me home?" she said.

"I am…" He pulled the car up in front of the Stabler house. "This is where you belong," he said gently.

"No, really…" she began before tears escaped down her cheek.

"Livvy, honey, trust me," he said, leaning across and opening her door.

Reluctantly she got out and made her way to the doorstep. Fin sat and watched and waited for her to let herself in but it never eventuated. Olivia sat on the top step and put her head in her hands, trying to pull herself together. She so desperately wanted to belong here but was just as scared it wouldn't be the happily ever after she had prayed for.

Fin grabbed his cell, ignored the clock which told him it was midnight and dialled.

"Hmmm," came a sleepy voice.

"El, there's something on your doorstep you need to deal with," Fin said.

"At midnight? Can't it wait til morning?" Elliot asked.

"Nuh man, believe me you want to see to this now." Fin hung up and watched the porch light come on before he drove off.

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**After careful consideration and consultation I have decided to combine chapters 13 and 14 and make one BIG concluding chapter. Therefore there is only one more to go…**

**So….as a final plea / request / bribe…when everyone has read and reviewed this chapter…I'll post the finale!!! **


	13. Chapter 13

**Author's Notes: Nothing belongs to me …boo hoo…**

**This chapter's for a dear friend…sometimes things aren't easy and life sucks but through hope, prayer and friendship…brighter days come and we appreciate them all the more.**

**------------------------------------------------------xoxoxoxonettieoxoxoxox ---------------------------------------------------------**

"Olivia!" Elliot called, but she remained motionless. "Honey, come on in, it's freezing."

When she failed to move he sat down beside her, wrapped one arm around her and drew her face up to his with the other.

"Oh god, Livvy, are you okay? What happened?" he asked, concern etched on his face.

She shook her head. "Bad case."

He gently touched the deepening bruise on the side of her face. "This looks like it hurt. Did you go to Mercy?" She shook her head again.

Before she could protest anymore, he took scooped her up and carried her inside. He sat her on the kitchen counter and retrieved an icepack. Without speaking he held it to her face for ten minutes, spending the time just looking at her and playing with her hair. When the time was up he tossed the pack into the sink and dried her face with his shirt.

"Does it still hurt?" he asked, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Nothing hurts anymore," she whispered, allowing herself to be pulled from the counter and into his arms.

"Do you want me to take you home?" he asked, kissing her forehead.

"I already am," she replied. Elliot drew back and studied her face. "I'm already home," she said again.

To prove her point she took his hand and led them up to the pretty pink room which would now be theirs.

Olivia closed the door after them and discarded her jacket. She opened his closet, picked out an oversized red Nike shirt and changed into it there and then, more than pleasing Elliot who was already back in bed. Without speaking, she turned off the overhead light and slipped into the most comfortable bed she had ever known. Elliot extended his arms and she willingly allowed herself to be encircled by them.

"Welcome home, baby," he whispered as she rested her head on his chest.

Three long kisses later, their time was interrupted by a piercing shriek.

"That's Lizzie," Elliot said, jumping out of bed, Olivia quickly followed.

"Hey, hey, baby girl," he soothed as soon as they got to her room. Lizzie sat up and threw her arms around his neck, still trembling. "Wanna tell me about it?"

She shook her head forcefully and jammed her thumb back into her mouth.

Elliot moved around on her bed and Lizzie spied Olivia for the first time.

"Why are you here?" she asked shyly around her thumb.

"Because I live here, Libby" Olivia replied. Lizzie looked up to her dad and he nodded. Instantly she let him go and stood up on her bed before throwing herself at Olivia. Olivia hugged her tightly and felt the girl's long legs wrap around her.

"Do you want to sleep in our bed, baby girl?" Olivia asked quietly.

Lizzie nodded before tilting her head. "That's daddy's name for me."

"Well, Libby, everything of daddy's we now share; everything and everyone," she said as Lizzie rested her head on Olivia's shoulder.

Back in bed, Lizzie held tight to Olivia and Elliot smiled as he watched her bend and whisper sweet messages into his daughter's ear. Before long Lizzie was asleep, both hands tucked way below the sheets.

Olivia looked up at Elliot. "She's asleep and she's not sucking her thumb."

"Well, that's a first," Elliot replied. "She must be doing better." He leaned across and kissed both his favourite girls.

"Why are you still sitting up?" Olivia asked, noting he was yet to lie down.

"Well, history tells us when one has a nightmare so does the other – always about thirty minutes apart," Elliot explained.

"Really?" asked Olivia, still caressing Lizzie's head.

"Yeah, they maybe fraternal but they are identical in so many ways," Elliot said, running his fingers through his daughter's golden locks.

True to form, thirty three minutes after the first scream of the night, it was Dickie's turn. Instead of the shrieks Lizzie had made there came a mournful cry.

"Mom…my! Mom...my!" Elliot was out of bed in a flash and into his son's room. Olivia placed her hand over Lizzie's ear hoping it wouldn't disturb her.

Despite Elliot's soothing techniques he could not placate the distressed boy. After hearing five minutes of Dickie's sorrowful cries for his mommy, Olivia went to him.

"Nothing's working," Elliot said, his own eyes filled with tears.

"It'll be okay, El," she said to him, kissing his head.

"Hey Dickie," Olivia said, rubbing his arm.

"Mommy!" Dickie shouted, wrapping himself in Olivia's open arms.

"It's me kiddo, Auntie Livvy," she whispered. pulling him closer to her.

Elliot watched on for several more minutes as his only son clung desperately to the woman he loved and cried for his mommy. The pain for him was unbearable and the tears ran down his face. It took Olivia a few moments to notice.

"Oh babe," she said, taking one of her arms from around Dickie and hooking it around Elliot's neck.

Elliot dropped his head and tried to control his emotions but he couldn't, Olivia kissed him twice before raising his face to hers.

"Why don't you go back to Lizzie?" she whispered. "We'll be fine here."

Ten minutes later when Dickie had calmed, Olivia kissed his head and went to release him.

"Don't let go Mommy Livvy," he mumbled into her chest.

"I'll never let you go, kiddo," she whispered.

"Please don't let go," he repeated, his tears soaking through her shirt.

Olivia held him tight, this was the first time she'd seen him so distressed. Since Kathy's death the girls had all cried and clung to her, she'd even held Elliot as he cried for Kathy but never Dickie.

"Talk to me, Dickie," she whispered into the near dark room.

He sobbed a little more and then sniffled. "It's my fault," he finally said.

"What is?" Olivia asked, drawing his face up.

"Mom dying…it's my fault." Silent tears cascaded down his face.

"How is it your fault, kiddo?" she asked, willing her own tears away.

"I'm the one who wanted to go to the mall, mom said no but I begged her," Dickie replied.

"Honey, it was an accident. It wasn't your fault…nobody thinks so…" Olivia said.

Dickie shook his head, only half believing her.

"When I woke up in the hospital and you were there I was so happy it wasn't dad," he said, resting his head back on Olivia's chest.

"Why was that?" she asked.

"'Cos dad always said I was the man of the house and it was my responsibility to take care of the girls and I couldn't," Dickie said quietly.

"Your dad loves you very, very much. He doesn't think this is your fault, honey, truly he doesn't." Olivia kissed his head.

Dickie sniffled some more and sighed deeply, Olivia knew there was something more to this.

"What else is it, Dickie?" she asked, raising his face. "What was the dream about?"

"You," he sighed in response.

"Me?" echoed Olivia. He nodded. "What upset you so much?"

"I…um…I…well..." Dickie stopped and took a deep breath. "I dreamed you were drowning and you had your hand out and I was trying to grab it and I couldn't and you kept going down and I…I…I was calling for you…"

"Take a breath, honey." Olivia soothed. He did before continuing again.

"And I was really upset because I had never told you I loved you and I hadn't even wanted you to hug me and I didn't think you really loved me…" he said rapidly.

"Why would you think that? I love you very much." Olivia said, her resolve to keep her own tears at bay gone.

"Because I didn't love you…well, I did but I didn't want to. I didn't want to love you and have you die too and in the dream you were dying and it was my fault and I couldn't save you and I love you and I couldn't save mom and I loved her." Dickie looked up and saw the tears streaming down Olivia's cheek. "And now I've upset you and dad's going to be really mad at me."

"I'm crying because I love you very much and I am very glad you love me. It's very late now but we are going to talk all these things through tomorrow, okay?" He nodded. Olivia kissed his forehead and went to release him.

"I still don't want you to let go, Mommy Livvy," he said quietly.

"How about you come back to our bed?" He nodded eagerly. Olivia walked him into her new bedroom and smiled at the sight of father and daughter curled up together. Elliot smiled as she opened the door.

"Room for us?" She smiled.

"Always room for two more Stablers," Elliot said, pulling the covers back. Dickie crawled in next to his sister and Olivia followed before long he too was asleep.

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Elliot reached over and wiped the tears which still sat on Olivia's cheeks.

"Are you okay, Liv? What happened in there?" he whispered.

Olivia stretched her arm over the two sleeping forms and ran her fingers down Elliot's cheek.

"I'll tell you tomorrow." She sighed deeply. "El, did you mean what you said before about room for two Stablers?" she whispered.

"Yeah I did. I would marry you in an instant but whether there's ever a ring on that beautiful finger of yours or not, you will always be a Stabler." He took hold of her hand and kissed it.

"Oh," she sighed, a tear of happiness rolling down her cheek.

When Olivia awoke she was on her back in the middle of the bed, Lizzie was curled into her side and Dickie lay on her, in exactly the same position his sister had been the first time she'd slept in this bed.

As the door opened, Elliot walked in and slid into bed beside Olivia.

"Where've you been?" she asked as he kissed her head.

"Calling in sick," he replied and Olivia instantly felt his forehead. "I'm not sick, babe."

"Then why?" she asked, moving Lizzie's elbow away from her ribs.

"Because I am taking you to have this checked out," he said, kissing the now deep purple bruise.

Dickie moved and Elliot drew back the quilt to find just where his son was sleeping and how comfortable he seemed.

"Like father like son," he grinned.

Olivia smiled and kissed the top of Dickie's head before kissing Elliot.

"I guess this'll probably be the last time we're all in this bed," he said. "I mean they're getting a little old to be sleeping with us."

"They probably are but I don't mind," Olivia said, more than happy to be surrounded by love.

"Well, I do," whispered Elliot. "I'd rather it be you and me sans children. I love them dearly but four in the bed…"

Lizzie rolled away from Olivia and this gave her the opportunity to ease Dickie onto the bed and roll into Elliot.

"Tell me, El, how much do you love me?" she whispered before kissing him.

"A million, zillion butterflies, as Lizzie used to say." He kissed her back. "How much do you love me?"

"Enough not to mind you don't know how to count," she replied.

"Can't count?" Elliot raised his head. "What can't I count?"

"How many Stablers in the bed, El?" she asked and although he knew the answer he still did a head count.

"There's four, Liv," he answered, lying back down.

"As I said, can't count," she closed her eyes.

"Liv?" He caressed her cheek. "You and me plus Dickie and Lizzie equals four."

She took his hand and rested it on her abdomen. "Five!" she whispered.

"Five?" he repeated, pure joy glistening in his eyes. She nodded and his lips came crashing onto hers, they moved backwards knocking into the twins and waking them.

"El," she said, pulling back. "We've got an audience."

He looked over her shoulder to see two sets of identical eyes looking at him.

"There are children present," Lizzie chided, getting out of bed.

"Not before breakfast, dad," Dickie said climbing out after her.

Elliot climbed out of bed too. "I'm going to get these two off to school and then I am coming back to you so DO NOT move."

"Why?" Olivia smiled broadly.

"'Cos I want to work on Stabler number six." He kissed her again.

Olivia watched the clock and listened to the movements throughout the house. Unable to help herself she got up, wanting to be a part of this family.

"Have a great day, Libby," she said, hugging the girl tightly as she was leaving.

"Bye Mommy Livvy," Lizzie replied. Olivia drew back, there was no possible way she could have heard her brother call her that during the night. Dickie tugged on her arm.

"You have a great day too, kiddo," she said as he wrapped his arms around her.

Dickie raised himself onto tippy toes and whispered into her ear. "I love you Mommy Livvy."

"I love you too, Dickie." She kissed him.

The bus horn tooted and they ran to it, waving as they went.

Elliot shut the door and was surprised when he turned to find tears cascading down Olivia's cheeks.

"Hey, hey," he soothed, wrapping her in his arms. "What's wrong?"

"Absolutely nothing," she sobbed.

"Then why these tears?" he said as he kissed them away.

"The twins called me Mommy Livvy?" she said, tears still running freely. He smiled to himself. One day he'd tell her they had been calling her that since the day after the divorce. On that day Elliot had been at home when his four children arrived unannounced. After a short discussion on how they all felt about the finality of the situation, Maureen was the one to put forth what they were all thinking.

"Hey dad," she said casually over dinner. "When is Auntie Livvy going to become Mommy Livvy?"

The kids had all loved it; each one had desperately hoped their dad would find happiness with the woman they loved.

He shook his head at the memory and wiped her eyes.

"And that scares you?" he asked. "Especially with this one on the way?" He rubbed her stomach.

"It terrifies me," she admitted, taking a deep breath.

"Because of your mom and everything else?" he asked gently. She shook her head.

"No because it all feels right – I feel…I can't explain it. I'm happy…I think that's it. I'm happy…and I don't think I've ever been happy before…not like this. I think…I know…this is where I belong…the place I've been searching for all my life."

It had been a struggle to find right words but she had done it.

Elliot took her in his arms and held her tight. "Welcome home, Olivia, welcome home!"

The End

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_**I want to take this opportunity to thank everyone for their support and encouragement throughout this story. I have loved every minute of it and I am a bit sad it's over. I'm sure there will be a few people who'd like this to be continued or see a sequel…while I'll never say never, it won't be done at this time. The story reached a natural conclusion here with the pieces picked up and any development from here on would constitute a new story…**_

_**I have a new story outlined but it won't be written or posted for a while due to other commitments.**_

_**Thanks again**_

_**Love Nettie**_


	14. Chapter 14

**_Just a heads up for all those who alerted this story._**

**_I have started posting the sequel to this story. It's called Bits and Pieces and chapter one is now up._**


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